The Climb - Sirius Black Fanfic
by AngelSnowflakeOffical
Summary: Daisy wasn't always so shy, just quiet. But that was before they got their letters for Hogwarts. Before Daisy attends Hogwarts on her own. Before she lost the most important person to her. Before she caught the eyes of one of the Marauders.
1. Prologue

**The Story's Full Description -**

Book 1 of the: The Climb Series.

"No matter what happens,

I will never stop climbing,

I will never stop believing."

Daisy Willow Snow is that quiet girl at school that you know nothing about. All you know is what other people have told you and what you have seen.

Daisy wasn't always so shy though, just quiet.

But that was before they got their letters for Hogwarts.

Before Daisy attends Hogwarts on her own.

Before she lost the most important person to her.

Before she caught the eyes of one of the Marauders.

But what she does know, is that she will never give up. No matter what life throws at her. She will always keep climbing.

 **Prologue**

I was silent as I walk up the steps and into the train that will take me to Hogwarts. A feeling of dread pools into my stomach as I drag my feet along the cold metal ground as I listen to happy chatter from the people around. Wishing that I could share in there happiness and laughter. Instead, though, I found myself drowning in my own pit of despair with nobody but myself at my side.

I kept my eyes on my feet as I shove myself through the crowd of people. Hoping, wishing, that today was just a nightmare. But it wasn't, the pain I felt when an elbow stabbed me in the side was like a scream in the face that today was real. A real nightmare that I didn't want to take part in. Another day without _him_ by my side.

The impact of the elbow threw me off balance and caused me to crash into a door. A groan left my mouth as I crashed into the door. I lift a hand to rub a sore spot on the part of the head that hit the door. I lift my head up to see people passing by me. Completly ignoring the fact that I just got pushed into a door.

I let out a sigh, not having the energy to get angry. Instead, I look through the window on the door to see that the compartment that I got slammed into was empty. I slid the door open and walk in and close it. Relief filled me as I was glad that I was able to find an empty compartment as I wasn't in the mood to deal with people. It wasn't enough to make me smile though.

Upon entering the compartment, I moved directly towards the window seat. I lose the ever-growing frown when I see my mother through the window, holding an umbrella over her head to block any of the rain that was falling. Her eyes were scanning the windows before they fall onto me. She smiles at me as she waves with her free hand. The sad smile on her face made me force a weak smile on to my face as I wave back at her. I couldn't let her see how much I was hurting inside. It would kill her.

I look away after a few minutes and lay down so then I didn't have to force a smile anymore and she didn't have to see my frown and my tired eyes.

After another few minutes, the train starts to move. I continue to lay there and listen to the sound of the train moving and the sound of the rain hitting the window softly. I close my eyes as the sounds allude me to sleep.

Only to wake up to the sound of knocking and to the sound of the door sliding open which causes me to shot straight up.

I rub my eyes as a person leans into the empty compartment. I could hear her voice but couldn't make out what she was saying "Huh." I said when I didn't hear her talking anymore as I blink my eyes to get rid of the blurriness.

The second my vision cleared up, I see that a redhead girl was leaning into my compartment. She smiles warmly at me. I noticed the perfect badge that shined brightly on her school uniform. "We'll be arriving at Hogwarts soon so you may want to change into your uniform.

I nod silently so she knew I heard her. The redhead girl leaves the compartment and slides the door behind her. I listen to the sound of her footsteps growing further and further away.

I let out a sigh as I look towards the window to see the landscapes flash past me. I could see my reflection in the window which showed me my long brown hair that held no bounce to it and my bangs reached down to my dark blue eyes which no longer held the spark of joy it once did.

I looked different. I looked like a different person without _him_ around. I was a different person without _him_. I had hope that _he_ could one day come back to my side. But now, that can never happen. _He_ was gone, permanently. Never coming back. I could no longer hope that he would come back.

I only close my eyes and shook my head at those thoughts. Forcing myself to tear my eyes away from the window so then I can get up and change into my uniform.

 **.o0o.**

Loud chatter filled my ears as I push myself through the crowded hallway while passing a certain group of kids, I was close enough to hear what they were talking about as I pass by them.

"I can't believe you didn't know Daisy was a Gryffindor. I can't blame you though for not knowing that. She _certainly_ doesn't act like a Gryffindor."

"No, I thought she was a Hufflepuff. She's so quiet. But then again, I heard that she comes across as rude all the time and is always avoiding people."

"That explains why she doesn't have any friends. What a loser." That comment was then followed by loud obnoxious laughter

I roll my eyes. Just because your quiet doesn't mean you don't belong in Gryffindor.

In the end, though, I couldn't help but agree with them.

I didn't belong in Gryffindor. I wasn't a risk-taker. I wasn't loud and I was anything but brave. _He_ was all that through.

And they weren't wrong about hearing that I avoided people. I wasn't rude to people through, I was cold to them through. I spoke with no emotion in my voice to those around me, including to the professors which would always throw them off as I use to speak with a large amount of emotion but I stopped doing that a year ago. Only speaking to my mum, my grandmother, and _him_ with emotion. There hasn't been one ounce of emotion in my voice since _he_ left though. No real smiles since then. No laughs. No jokes. Nothing, not one ounce of joy,

I listen to the sound of happy chatter and the sound of feet hitting the ground along with my feet as I continue to walk to my destination with only myself and the book that I plan on reading as my company.

 _He_ was never coming back. I would never hear _his_ laugh again. I would never see _his_ smile again. Only in my memories could I hear _his_ laughs. Only in pictures and memories could I see _his_ smile and the sparkle of mischief and joy in _his_ eyes. For death was permanent. Nothing could rewind it. Not even magic.

Every part of me wanted to stop walking. Every part of me wanted to lay down and close my eyes and never wake up. Without _him_ , life seemed meaningless. But I couldn't through. _He_ made me promise that I would never give up. That I would never stop walking when _he_ wasn't here. I never broke a promise and I don't plan on breaking this one. I will keep walking, I will keep _climbing_ until my last breath.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - DADA**

The sounds of the birds singing fill my ears as I crack my eyes open slightly. I let out a small groan as I sat up. Feeling has if I had no sleep thanks to my unsettling dream.

I run a hand through my long brown hair. Combing through all the unwanted knots as I look up at the window. Seeing that the sun was only beginning to raise. I look over to the other beds that were being used by my roomates.

I only let a sigh as begin thinking to myself. Why couldn't I sleep in like the others?

Why do I always wake up so early in the morning? Why can't I go back to sleep when I feel I can't my eyes open?

Why did I have to be alone? I'm always alone. Even in my dreams.

 **.o0o.**

I descend down the stairs from the girl's dormitory quickly and quietly before making my way to the couch that sat in front of the fire place that wasn't a lit.

Smoothing out my skirt as I sat down the couch. I open the book as I lay it against. Bending over to read the words that decorated the pages.

Escaping my world of loneliness into a world of adventures and fun.

I smile softly as I turn the page.

Books were my only sense of comfort now that _he_ was gone.

.o0o.

"The rules for this one on one duel are simple..."

The professor continues to drone on and on about the rules and what will happen if we broke them. She then tells us how she is going to be grading us. It doesn't matter if we win or lose. All that matters is how display our skills and she thinks having us to this is the best way to show our skills and what we need to work on.

But I completely ignore her as I continue reading my book as I sat on the ground as half of the desks were pushed to the side so then there would be room for us to have our duels without anything getting in the way.

I had planned on reading my book until it was my turn to go up there but that changed when I saw the professor stuck out her hand out in front of my face.

I rolled my eyes before handing her my book before crossing my arms.

"You may have this back after class." She tells me before walking away.

I just a huff in frustration before I heard a snickering from beside me.

I look to the side to see the infamous Sirius Black and James Potter sitting in the chairs beside me.

I shot them both glares before turning away as I certainly did not feel like dealing with them as tiredness weighted heavily on my eyes and shoulders. I wouldn't be surprised if I had bags underneath them not that it would matter.

I begin tracing my figure in the carpet. Making weird shapes as I listen to the duels that were taking place. None of them were interesting through so I spent more of my time daydreaming instead of paying attention.

The only the one that was even close to be interesting was the one that delt with James Potter. But then again, as much as I hate to admit it. Things are always end up being interesting when you deal with a prankster.

I watched as James walks away from his duel victoriously as he sends a wink to Lily Evans. The infamous smart girl. Also the girl that can't tolerate James Potter as she was the only girl beside me and her blonde haired friend to not clap when he was done with his duel. I watched as she huffed amd turns away when she saw the wink which makes me smirk slightly in amusement.

Seeing that I wasn't the only unhappy made a strange feeling surge through my chest.

I frown through as I watch James give all three of his friends high five his in victory. James was still smiling proudly because he had turned away before he could see Lily's reaction to his wink. Seeing the smiles on his face and on his friends faces caused my blood to boiled as I narrow my eyes.

I turned away with a huff as I cross my arms as snare takes over my frown.

It's not fair. Why do they get to be happy but not me. Why do I lose the person I care about most? Why must I live miserably? A life where I always question what I did to deserve such a harsh punishment. To lose the one person that understood me the most.

"Daisy Snow and Sirius Black are up next." Says the Professor, I look up in surprise when I heard that as my eyes widen as I suddenly broken out of my thoughts. "Come on up to have your match."

"Nice to see that can express other emotions beside anger." I hear a voice laced with mischief from beside.

I turn my gaze to the side to see the infamous Sirius Black standing beside me with his usual mischievous grin as he looked down at me.

I blinked at him in surprise before glaring up at him.

"Oops, it's angry Daisy again. Oh no, what shall I do?" Says Sirius as he mocks me in fearful voice.

I keep my eyes narrowed onto his as I slowly stand up onto my feet. I strighten out my back to try to appear taller. This of course failed as I stopped at his chin meaning that I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes.

This only caused his grin to strengthen as he stared down at me. "Does a shorty like you really think you can take me on?" He asked. His voice with amusment.

I stared with a frown and narrowed eyes before cracking a smirk which caused a flash of surprise to show in his eyes for only a second before regaining his composure.

"Let's just get this done and over with. I don't particularly like the idea of stalling this more then needs to be. Since there is only one way of knowing who will win and who won't. Don't you agree?" I asked as I lace my voice with a large dose of sweetness.

How I was acting, was a side that I have never showen before. A side I had never seen before.

So Sirius wasn't the only who was shocked by how I was acting. I was shocked to as I had never thought that I possesed the guts to act in a such a way.

It was slient as me and Sirius made our way to the side of the room that was made for the duel as the Professor begins putting up protective spells over her and the other students incase a spell went haywire.

But one thing is for certin through, I thought to myself as I narrow my eyes at Sirius as I stood waiting for the Professor to give us the green light. _Him_ leaving has caused me to go through many changes.

"Start!"

Sirius immediately points his wand me. "Expelliarmus!"

I simply I turned slightly on my heels. The spell missing by a few inches. I kept my eyes locked on Sirius as I raise my wand up immediately.

"Flipendo!" I yelled as I sent the spell toward him.

"Finite Incantatum!" Sirius canceled out my spell instead of dodging it. He stuumbleds backwards a little as a grimace.

He opens his mout to send out another spell.

"Aguamenti!" I blurt out without much before he could send out another spell.

I had to win this. I thought to myself as water spruted from the end of wand. Hitting him directly in the face which causes gasp in surprise as he stumbles back so more.

He bends over slightlyn spluttering out water as he coughed.

I grin in amusement as my eyes widen and excitement swells in my chest.

I was winning. I never win at anything.

I quickly pointed my wand towards Sirius once again, who was busy trying to get his long wet hair out of his face.

"Flipendo!" I yelled in excitement as I sent him flying into the wall.

"Accio wand." I stated calmly as I walked closer to him with a smirk as his wand flew to my free hand. I bend down to his level as he sat leaning against the wall.

Now that he hair was out of his face, he was able to send to a glare my way as a scowl appears on his. Any trace of amusement from before were gone.

"I guess now you know not to take me lightly from now on." I stopped as I remember how fluffy his hair way before it got wet. "Bye bye, Fluffy." I said as I stood up, enjoying the look of annoyance on his face.

"Shorty." He muttered, causing me to roll my eyes before throwing his wand at him before walking away. Ignoring all the eyes that were locked onto me as I return to my spot with my eyes focused onto the carpet.

.o0o.

I left the classroom the second I got the chance to with my book in hand. But I stopped when I heard my name.

I turn around to see James Potter walking towards. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he possibly want with me.

He glared at me as he placed his hands on his hips. "Don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" He asked me.

I blinked in surprised at his question before realizing what he talking about. I roll my eyes eyes as my face goes back to it's usual emptiness. "No I don't." I answered in a cold monotone voice that made James eyes widen slightly as he anger disappeared into an unsettled look. "He try to humiliate me before the dual. So he got he deserved."

I then turn around and begin walking away from them.

If I don't think it was harsh then it wasn't harsh. That's all there is to.

But it wasn't far enough way since I heard him whisper to his friends.

"So cold...I don't remember her being that cold last year or the years before that."

"That's because she wasn't that cold."

And he was right, I wasn't that cold last year or the year before that. But this year was different then the others. But no matter how cold I become, even I won't be able to ignore the guilt that was eating me from the inside out for long.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - A Tutor**

Walking through a crowded hallway. I could feel everyone eyes on me as I walked with my eyes locked onto my feet.

"Is that the girl right there?"

"Did you hear about how Daisy-"

"She's so short."

"I don't I've ever heard her speak."

"It's hard to believe that _sh_ e was the one that won a duel against Sirius Black."

"He had to have held back. There is no way she could have beat him herself."

Placing my hands over my ears to block out there whispering as tears prickled the corner of my eyes.

 _I hate it._

 _I hate it._

Look away, _don't look at me_!

I couldn't stand the eyes on me as I quickly walk through the crowd of students. Pushing my way through them. To try and get away from all the whispering.

"Isn't she a half-blood?"

"I heard the Snow family used to be a pure-blood family until Daisy's father married a muggle-born woman."

 _Shut up! Shut up!_

When I was able to. I broke out into a run. Running all the way to the tower. The Astronomy Tower. One place I knew I could be completely alone. No goes up there unless it's class time.

All I wanted was to get away from there whispering. From all there gossiping.

 _Why can't they shut up?_

 _Why can't they just mind there own damn business?_

 _This is my life! Not theirs!_

No matter what though. I can't let the tears fall.

.o0o.

Loud chatter filled my ears as I turn the page to read the next page in my book.

I read my book while completely ignoring the food as I wasn't in the mood to eat.

All I wanted was to disappear from my world and my problems and escape to another world.

But as I blinked my eyes, coming back to my world once more. Only because I had noticed someone was sitting in front of me. The blonde haired girl showed a wide grin as her blue eyes seemed to sparkle in excitement as she stared at me.

"Hi there, it's about time you looked up! I was beginning to think you were never going to look up from your book!" Says the girl, her voice filled with excitement.

I roll my eyes, I didn't have the patience to deal with some annoying girl.

"Get lost," I tell her bluntly, in my usual monotone voice.

But unlike the others, the girl's face didn't change to one of surprise or unsettlement. Instead, she continued to smile at me. "But what if I don't want to get lost?" The girl spoke again.

I narrow my eyes at her. I've seen this girl somewhere before. Wait second, she's that blonde haired girl I've seen hanging around Lily Evans. The infamous smart girl's friend.

"Then stop talking," I tell her.

"But what if I want to keep talking?" The girl tells me.

Now that I think about it, I don't actually know this girl's name. Never heard so I never learned it. All I know is that she hangs out with the redhead a lot.

I honestly don't see why Lily hangs out with her. She's annoying.

My grip on my book tightens as my eyes narrow on her. "How nice," I said with sarcasm as my blood was beginning to boil.

"I sense sarcasm." Says the girl with a grin that I wanted to smack off her face.

"Good for you," I said through gritted teeth.

"Why are you so sarcastic?" The girl asked with the look of confusion. Finally, something other then her smiling at in amusement.

I roll my eyes. "Because I feel like it," I tell her. I wanted her to go away. Why she wouldn't just go away.

"I still hear sarcasm." The girl tells me.

Well, maybe it would just shut up and go away. She wouldn't hear the sarcasm. "Well, isn't that lovely," I tell her as my grip tighten. If she didn't leave now. I was going to lose control of my anger.

Surprisingly, the girl suddenly became silent. She sat across from me while staring at me with a childish pout on her face.

I sigh. I should leave before I lose my cool. I don't have the mentality to deal with this childishness.

"Marlene! There you are! You got to stop leaving me behind!" I look up in surprise when I hear an another girl's voice.

I look up to see the infamous redhead standing beside the smiling blonde haired girl that I now know as Marlene.

Lily then looks at me with a smile. "I'm sorry if Marlene was any trouble." Says Lily.

I set my cold eyes on the redhead. "It's fine, just please take the girl away before I murder her," I tell the girl in much colder voice than usual.

This made a grimace take over her smile before she nodded. She then grabs hold of her friend before dragging her away.

I look back down at my book before letting out another sigh.

I look up as I close my book.

I should leave before anyone else decides to bother me. Before I go off on someone. Don't need people thinking I've gone mad now.

 **.o0o.**

Dread filled me as I walk into the class I hated the most. Potion class.

Like always, I sit in the very back of the classroom while all the other students sit with their friends while I'm left sitting by myself. Nothing usual.

My hatred for this class ran deep as this class was nothing but a reminder of _him_ it was like a smack in the fact that _he_ isn't here and he will never be here. _He_ will be able to experience the joy of Hogwarts.

I look down at my cauldron as I begin working on the potion that we were assigned.

 _"Daisy! Listen to what this potion can do!"_

I press my hands over my ears as I close my eyes shut.

 _Shut up, shut up, shut up._ I chanted over and over again as my hands pulled at my hair. _Your dead, I shouldn't be able to hear your voice. Your dead, your dead._

 _"I wonder why nobody has made a potion yet that can help werewolves."_

My eyes snap open at the voice as stare the cauldron filled with an orange liquid that bubbled.

 _I smile as I stare at the boy in the hospital's bed as he scans through the potion book I had just given him._

 _His eyes sparkle with wonder._

 _"I'm sure they have tried. They just haven't succeeded yet." I tell him._

 _He hummed in reply before looking up at me with a wide grin and his eyes sparkle with a light that was too special for this world._

 _"Then when I can, I'll try to make some for them. Something that can help ease the pain they feel when goes through there transformations." He tells me as he turns to look through the window to stare at the night sky that held a full moon._

 _I blinked as I stare at him in confusion. "What bright this up?" I asked._

 _He looked down at his book with a sad smile. "I read a book about werewolves. The pain they go through is horrible. Not only are they shunned and abandoned by there own people. But their transformations causes them a lot of pain. It's not surprising why they often turn evil as no one is willing to help them. If I ever meet one, I want to help them." The boy explains to me._

 _I smile. "I can understand that and usually, I'll help you."_

 _The boy grins at me. "Like always, we're partners in crime."_

 _"We'll always be partners in crime," I tell him with a smile as wholeheartedly believed._

 _If only I haven't been so foolish. Maybe I wouldn't have been crushed so hard._

I was brought back to the present when I heard someone hell my name.

"Professor! Daisy's cauldron is bubbling over again!

I let out a yelp as the hot liquid came close to touching me but I had jumped back in time before it could.

 _Damnit!_ I let my emotions get the better of me again.

"Hey Snow!" I looked up in surprise when I heard someone say my name. Only to see Sirius giving me his usual smirk before he continues speaking while staring at me. Giving another one of his famous jokes that made the class laugh. It didn't take a genius to figure out who the punch line was.

I stayed silent as I didn't hear the joke as my ears were filled with nothing but ringing laughter. I did not glare at him. I did not narrow my eyes at him like I usually would. I just kept the frown on my face as my strength seems to disappear for a second which caused my guard to slip up. I watched as his smile seemed to disappear into a frown and a sparkle of concern seemed to appear in his eyes. But I didn't really care as I turn away from and instead, I turn my gaze to stare down at my feet as I concentrated on getting my guard back up.

I honestly felt nothing. I felt so much at once but also nothing at all.

But one thing is for certain is that I was tired.

 _Tired_ of walking.

 _Tired_ of climbing.

 _Tired_ of trying and getting nowhere.

I'm _tired_ of everything, all I wanted was to lay down and go to sleep and never wake. All I wanted was to see _him_ again. Be with _him_ again.

 _I thought we were partners in crime. Partners in crime aren't meant to be apart._

.o0o.

I jumped up as soon as class was dismissed. As soon as I leave this class the better. But plans changed when I heard the Professor call out my name. Telling me to come up to his desk.

I let out a sigh but I kept my usual unemotional look as I turn around and walk up to Professor Slughorn. Next to him was Lily Evans.

"Yes Professor?" I asked I look between him and Lily, who had a bright smile. A smile that I hated- no, I _envied_ that smile. I use to have a bright smile like that one. But it was gone. Just like _he_ was gone. Gone, never meant to return.

I broke out of my thoughts when I heard Professor Slughorn begin to speak. "I've been noticing that you haven't been doing very well in my class. At this rate, you're gonna have to do extra credit just to pass my class this year. So, I've decided that you need a tutor." I stare at the Professor, as what he said was nothing short of a surprise to me. I was fully aware of the fact that I was failing this class. "And I've decided that Miss Evans here will be your tutor for she is one of the nicest and smartest students in my class."

I look at the redhead, who had a warm smile on her face. She did seem like a kind person. But I kept a frown on my face as she stuck her hand out.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you, Daisy. My name is Lily. I hope we can get along very well." Says Lily as she greets me with nothing but kindness.

But I've met those that showed kindness at first, only to find out later that it was fake. So I showed no sense of kindness as I wasn't in the mood for games.

I ignored her hand as I kept my arms across my chest. "Pleasure," I tell her. Her cheerfulness was something I envied.

 _Why couldn't I be that cheerful?_ _Why couldn't I be more like her?_


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - The Library

There was little to no sounds except for flipping of books and the quiet chatter you could barely hear thanks to the Librarian, who even I didn't like nor could I get along with. Yet, still spent most of my time here, and this was also the place where I would be when it comes to having Lily tutoring me.

I made almost little to no sound as I walked over to Lily, who as scheming through a book. I sat down on the other side of the table right in front of her.

She jumped when noticed me after a few minutes. Her eyes widen before blinking. She gave me a smile. "You scared me, I didn't hear your footsteps or hear you sitting down."

"That because you weren't meant to hear me," I said cooly as I lean forward with my arms on the table.

She blinked. Slightly surprised by the answer. "Oh well, I'm surprised to see you here. I was beginning to think you didn't like me." Lily tells me as she flips through a book. Avoiding my eyes at all times.

"Your right, I don't like you. I don't like cheerful people." I tell her with a sense of coldness added to my voice. "But I do need to pass this class."

I could pass this class without her help. To be honest though, as much as I hate to admit it. I need company, I need friends because as time pass, my loneliness is what is eating me away.

"Oh." Was all she said.

I didn't really blame her for that being her only answer. It's honestly the last reason you would expect to hear. Not that I cared in the least.

After that introduction, she immediately dived straight into the lessons. Asking me questions pertaining to different potions.

Each answer I gave her was the correct answer.

This, of course, would cause a look of confusion flash before her eyes which only made me smile mischievously as I was beginning to enjoy the idea of messing with people.

That was until a certain someone decided to pass by while saying loudly a certain something.

The word, "Mudblood." Was said loud and clear for all those nearby to hear.

Lily's eyes widen as a flash of hurt flashed across her face.

But the hurt on her face didn't register itself in my head as all I could hear was the word _mudblood_ being repeated over and over again in my head as I lost the mischievous smile.

I title my head to the side as I shift my eyes to the boy that had taken a few steps past Lily.

Memories of the summer come rushing back to me. All because of a single word. All because that word, happen to hit me in the soft spot.

 _"Mudblood! That stupid Mudblood! It's all her fault that things are like this! I should have listened to mother. He wouldn't be laying in a hospital bed clinging to life if it wasn't for that damn woman and the muggle blood that runs through her veins." I heard my father rant to himself downstairs as I stood at the top of stairs while shaking in fear._

 _I wanted to say something._

 _I wanted to stand up to tell him he was wrong._

 _That my mother's blood had nothing to do with this._

 _That this wasn't her fault._

 _Maybe if father hasn't kept pushing him past his limits. Maybe then he wouldn't be in the hospital bed. If he hasn't made his weak heart work so hard. He wouldn't be like this. This was all father's fault._

 _But like a coward, I stood there and let him curse at my mother like it was his first language. I stood there, shaking like a fool._

 _At least mum isn't here to hear this._

I was tired. Tired of all this pureblood nonsense.

Now would be a good time to redeem myself for not standing up for my mother when I should have. Is what J was thinking to myself as my hand's grip tightens around the book I was holding as I stood up.

I could feel the eyes of not only Lily but the eyes of others. I could sense the confusion that hung in the air as I stared the boy that was still walking away, with his back turned towards me.

Raising my right hand that held the book as my left-hand lets go of it. My arm goes past my head before throwing the book forward.

Me, Lily, and everyone else watch as the book went flying forward towards the boy. Hitting him on the back of his head. Just where I hoped it would land.

This here was an abnormal thing to do. I was never the person that got angry. I have never hit anyone before, I have never thrown a book at someone before.

I was the quiet, shy, bookworm. A little sassy towards those I knew _ver_ y well but that was it. It was as if I didn't care anymore. It was as if, I was losing myself. I didn't want to lose myself in the darkness that was warping its self around my head and heart.

I wanted to find the light. But how does one find the light?

I was brought out of my thoughts when I saw a strong glare being thrown at me.

I blinked as I recoiled back a little in surprise as the boy in front of me looked a lot like Sirius Black. But the boy's hair was much shorter then Sirius's and his eyes weren't gray. They were a dark blue. Similar to mine but much darker.

"Did you just throw a book at me?" The boy hissed at me. His voice was definitely higher pitched then Sirius's voice.

I gave him a shrugged shoulder as I kept a frown on my face. "Oops, must have slipped out of hands," I tell him as I sat back down in my hair.

"It better have been an accident because of who I am." The boy tells me as he walks closer to the table.

I raised an eyebrow at this. "And who would you be?" I asked.

He picked up his chin as he stood tall and straight. "Regulus Black. From the Noble and Ancient Black family. Who everyone should look up to." He says proudly.

My eyes blinked before I rolled them. Which only seemed to anger him more. "How about we count how many fucks I care about who are," I tell him as I look up above me. Staring at the high ceiling. "1...2...Oh, they all flew away." I tell him before looking back down at him.

Regulus face was turning as red as Lily's hair from anger as he gritting his teeth as he spoke. "Just you wait, I'm going to tell my mother about you!" And with that being said, he leaves storming through the exist.

"Good luck with that!" I yelled.

I then heard a loud shush that caused me and Lily to jump. I looked towards the entrance of the library to see Madam Prince standing at the entrance of the library while glaring at me.

I gave her a fake, innocent smile. I dropped the fake smile when she turned her back towards me and so I turn my face into a silly face by sticking my tongue out at her and by pinching my cheeks. I also made my eyes really wide.

I held my face like that for a few seconds and then after that. I return to normal and looked back at Lily with my usual stoic look as I honestly didn't know how to feel about how I just acted.

This wasn't me.

This wasn't how I usually act.

I've never have acted this way before this year.

One thing's for certain though, was that I didn't like this new me.

I blinked when I noticed a look of gratefulness on Lily's face as she leaned forward onto her arms as they were sitting on the table. "Thank you, Daisy, I really appreciate you standing up for me like that," Lily tells me.

"Hmm..." I replied in response kut of surprise. "Oh, don't get me wrong Lily. I didn't do that for you. I did it for myself since I do in fact have muggleborn blood running through my veins since my mother is a muggleborn herself." I tell her as I spoke to her in a cold tone once more.

Her cheeks took to a new shade of red as a reaction to what I said. "Oh, well, I still think that was really brave of you." The redhead tells.

I blinked. Brave?

I was...brave?

I just shook my head as I let out a sigh before looking back up at Lily, who was waiting for my response.

"Let's just get back to the lessons," I tell her.

She nods. "Alright." She tells me before picking up her book again and begins asking me questions once more about different potions. I gave some wrong answers on purpose as to make her think that I did need help in this subject and that there wasn't some underlying truth to me accepting the tutoring.

 _Brave..._ ha! That's the biggest joke I've ever heard. Brave was the last thing I was and will ever be.

I was born as a coward and I will stay as a coward forever and ever.

Whether I liked it not.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Short Problems**

Standing on my tip toes as I raise my arm high above my head as I try to reach for the book I wanted.

Seeing as it was the weekends. I had decided to spend almost all of my time in the library instead venturing off to Hogsmed.

I let out huff of frustration as I place my feet back fully onto the ground in defeat.

Crossing my arms over my chest I place a finger onto my chin. Thinking of a way to get the bloody book down from the top shelf.

"Short problem 1,000. You can't reach the top shelf." I mutter under my breath.

I let out a sigh.

I was either going have to get another tall person or I'll have to get creative.

Hmm, I'll get creative as to avoid soicalizing.

I then turn around and I scan my surrounding before grabbing a chair and picking it up and placing it against the bookshelf before climbing on top of the chair and then begin reaching out to the book that I wanted easily.

Not very creative but it works which is all that matters to me right now.

"Ha." I said in victory as I jump off the chair.

I then heard clapping behind me that made me jump and I spin around on the heels of my causing my hair to fly from the speed.

"Well done shor-Hey!" I saw someone quickly jump back as I turned around just come face to face with Sirius Black.

He narrowed his eyes at me as crossed arms over his chest. "Your hair almost hit me in the face!"

I blinked at him before raising an eyebrow as I snorted. "Well maybe shouldn't have been standing roght behind me." I tell him. "And stop calling me shorty!"

He smirks. "Not gonna happen. Besides, your the one who started off the nicknames so your the one to blame, Shorty."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why exactly are you doing in the library and where your friends?" I asked.

"How about we don't worry about little details. I'm here now and that's all that matters." Sirius tells me with a grin as he wiggle his eyebrows at me.

I snorted. "A little to self-center don't you think, _Fluffy_."

He scoffs. "I call it confidence." He tells me.

"Well I think your confidence is beginning to over flow. Better be careful before you have nasy spill there." I tell him sweetly before picking the chair back up with huff before walking over to where I had gotten it from. I could hear Sirius footsteps behind me.

I roll my eyes. Now he was just becoming annoying. "Go away Sirius." I tell him as I place the chair back where I found it.

"Why would you want me to go away?" Sirius asked as I turn around to face him.

"Because your annoying." I tell him.

Mischief seems to sparkle in his gray eyes as he grins at me. "That means I'm doing my job." He tells me, not realizing what memories his words would bring.

The gray eyes filled with mischief and the words he spoke being put together caused pain hit me right in the heart. Something that was beyond Sirius control.

All I could see and hear in that moment was him.

 _"Would you stop annoying me, William." I tell the boy that runs around me as I was trying to read my book._

 _"Why would I when I'm doing my job?" He asked as he stopped running and begin making silly faces at me._

 _I let out a sigh as I close my book. "What do you want William?" I asked with a faint smile on my face._

 _His gray eyes sparkle with mischief as he usual mischievous grin appeared on his face. "I want us to pull another prank!" He tells me with excitement in his voice._

 _I roll my eyes. "I don't pull pranks William. I come up with them." I tell him._

 _He rolled his eyes. "Ya, ya, I know. It's because your goody-two-shoes." He tells me._

 _"Better watch that mouth there, Mister." I tell him sternly which causes us to burst out laughing_.

That was back before he was hospitalized. That was back before we got our letter for Hogwarts. Before I realized I would be attending Hogwarts alone.

"Hey, Daisy, you still there?" I heard a voice as I heard snapping. I blinked when I saw fingers snapping in my face.

I took step back in surprise as I see Sirius standing in front of me with a look of confusion spread across his face.

"You spaced out like you usually do in Potions. You okay there?" Sirius asked.

I blinked again before shaking my head. "Ya, I'm fine." I tell him. "Just tired."

I then turn to go check the book out so then I could leave and get away from him.

I could hear Sirius footsteps behind me as I hand the book over to Madame Prince to be checked out. She shot a suspicion look towards Sirius who had an innocent smile on his face.

She looks back me and gives me back the book as she tells me the due date. I took the book back before walking away and towards the entrance of the library while listening to the sounds of Sirius footsteps following me.

I stopped in the middle of the entrance before turning sharply to face Sirius. This action caused Sirius to raise an eyebrow at me as my face held no amsument or joy.

I narrowing my eyes onto him as I spoke coldly to him once more. "What is that you want Sirius? I tired to be polite and engaged with your teasing, thinking maybe all you wanted was for someone to bother and but you clearly want someone more then that. So tell me, what is your purpose of being here?" I demaned answer as I was beginning to grow impatient.

The boy just shrugs. "Fine, if want the answer that badly. It's because I find you interesting." He answered simply.

I just blinked at him with a raised eyebrow as I just stare at slightly dumbfounded at what he just sound. "You find me interesting?" I asked.

He nods with a grin. "Yes, yes I do." He says almost sounding proud of himself. "When you think about it Daisy, no here really knows anything about you because you never talk to anyone. This is year is probably the most I've ever heard you talk."

I cross my arms as I frown. I said nothing at first as what he said was true. I shook my head. "And what do you hope to gain by figuring me out?" I asked.

He shrugs. "A friend?" He asked with a small grin which made my eyes widen. "I gotta say, I do enjoy the sass that you process."

I narrow my eyes at him as my hands turn into tight grips. "Sorry to burst your bubble _Black_ but I'm not here to make friends. I don't need them nor do I want them." I tell him through gritted teeth.

I turn away from him and begin walking away.

"I know your lying Snow!" I hear him yell. That causes me to stop. No ever knows that I'm lying, except for William.

"I noticed that you tensed up whenever you lie. Usually, when you become tense, it's pretty stuble so people usually wouldn't be able tell but this time it's different. It's very obvious. Meaning that you really do _want_ friends." I hear his footsteps behind me.

My arms were beginning to shake as knuckles were turning white as he was hitting all the right points.

How? How does he know when I'm lying? We've barely even talked this year and we have _never_ spoken in the past that i could remember. He would have to been watching me from the shadows to know this.

"Your mad Black!" I turn to yell at him before I started running down the hall.

"Everyone knows that love!" He yells back as I turn around corner without slowing down.

Placing my hands over my ears once more my thoughts started clashing with each other.

 _Ignore him. Ignore him._

 _He's no good._

 _He's just trying to into your head._

 _But what if he isn't?_

 _He is! He is trying get into your head!_

 _Why would anyone waste there time with you?_

 _All anyone like to do is toy with your emotions. William was only that didn't toy with your emotions. He was the only one you could trust. You couldn't even trust your own father so why should you trust your mother or your grandmother. They will just end up like your father. Turning there back on you just like your father did._

 _Why, why did things have to be like this?_


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Questions**

I was reading through another lesson that Professor Slughorn has assigned us. I was able to get through pretty quickly and easily as Potions was a subject I was very good at.

Just the problem was that every potion here seemed to remind me of some sort of memory of him.

Polyjuice potion. I read the title of one of the potions. Knowing exactly what it was the second my eyes met those words.

 _"Daisy, Daisy, Daisy!" I hear William's chant my name over and over again which causes me to look up from the book I was reading as I stare at the boy that laid in the hospital bed._

 _I raise an eyebrow at him as his eyes seem to sparkle in wonder. "What is it?" I asked._

 _"Look at this potion I found it!" He says as he shows me a page in his book and points to a certain potion._

 _"Polyjuice? That's a weird name." I tell him._

 _He nods. "It is, but it do something really cool through. If you mix the potion right, you can make yourself look like someone else for a certain amount of time!" He says in excitement which causes me to smile._

 _He then lets out a sigh as he frowns. "It's kinda like becoming a animge, it's just not perment and you can't chmage at will." Says William. "I wish I could have been able to become one like you and an illegal one at that to. That would be so cool! Your so lucky that you got the chance to become one Daisy."_

 _I force a smile. "Ya, it's pretty neat." I agree with him. "But I'm sure once tour out of this hospital and you got your strength back up. Dad will teach you how to become one, alright?" I tell him, which causes him to nod in agreement._

 _"Your right Daisy! I can't wait to see what I woumd turn into!" He tells me._

I never did get to find out what he eould have turned into since passed away before he could become one.

I still wonder what he could have become. Would he have been a cat like me? Would he be a raven like dad is? Mum isn't a animagus but she has cast the prouncus spell so she knows what animal she would be which is a badger which isn't surprising seeing as she is a proud Hufflepuff while my dad is a Ravenclaw.

I sigh. William might have been a lion. Maybe, I'm not sure. Maybe a badger like mum, is also a chance.

Who knows, it doesn't matter anymore since he's not here.

"Daisy! Snap out of it!" I heard Lily's voice which caused me to look up at her in surprise.

Lily raised an eyebrow at me as I gave her an innocent smile before sitting up and stretching.

I hear Lily let out a sigh. "I think I know what your problem is." I hear Lily say which brings me to give her a look of confusion.

"You understand this subject as well as I do. But you keep zoning out which is why your failing this class. It's also because you simply don't seem to like this class either." Lily explains as I frown. She hit the nail on the head, that's for sure. "Which means thst you don't need a tutor, but someone to talk to."

She lends foward and places her hands on top of mine which causes me to flinch back and immediately pull my hands away from her as I stare at her in surprise.

She frowns as she watches me with a look of concern in her eyes.

"I'm willing to listen to whatever is on your mind if you want to talk about it Daisy." Lily tells me.

I scan her face for any signs of this beginning a lie. But all I could find was reall sincerity on her face.

 _She's lying to you._

 _She's going to back stab you._

 _Don't listen to her._

 _But what if she really is telling the truth_?

 _She's been nothing but nice to me._

 _That's her way of breaking down your walls_

 _Do not give into her tricks!_

I then slam my hands onto to the table as I stood up. I saw my chair was beginning to fall from the speed of me standing up so I quickly grab hold of it before litting sit back on all four legs.

I stood there, staring at the table as I begin breathing heavily.

 _I'm fine._

 _I'm fine._

 _I'm fine._

"Daisy, are you okay?" Lily asked.

I look up at her as my breathing was beginning to return to normal.

"Yes. Of course I'm fine. I-I just have some where to be. See you later Lily." I tell the girl before collecting my stuff and leaving.

"Dasiy! Wait!" The girl tried to call out but I completely ignored her with a heavy heart weighing me down.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - Potion Class**

I lend forward over the book I was reading as I sat in an empty hallway as to avoid getting bothered by any of the nosy and annoying students.

Focusing on the book I was reading before letting out a groan.

I was hopping maybe reading a book about how to handle grief of a loved one and this keeps repeating that talking to people about the pain you feel helps.

Fat chance that I was ever going to do that.

 _Just a few more weeks. Just a few more weeks until Christmas break. You can survive a few more weeks._

I should be fine as long as I can find other ways of dealing with my pain.

I went to turn the page only to let a squeal in surprise as I feel someone's weight on my back.

Some of the weight disappears but not completely as I slam the book close before who ever is behind could know what I was reading.

I turn to look over my shoulder, only to come eye to eye with a pair of brought blue eyes and a pout on the girl's face.

My eyes widen in shock before glaring at her. "Has anyone ever taught you personal space?" I yelled at her as her face was inches from mine which caused Marlene to jump back in surprise before grin a spread across her.

 _Stay calm, stay calm. Only just a few weeks until Christmas break._

"What do you want?" I snapped.

So much for staying calm.

Marlene frowns at my rudeness but quickly replaces it with a smile on her face.

"I wanted to hang out with you." Says Marlene cheerfully as she jumps off the window seat.

"Why?" I demand.

"Because we're friends." Says Marlene as she bounces on heels of her feet.

My eyes widen in surprise but then I glare at her as I tense up. But this time, it wasn't because I was lying.

"Why would you think that? I never said we were friends!" I yell at her. "I don't even know you!"

I then stood up and started walking away from her in a rush to get away from the annoying girl as I grip the book tightly in one hand.

Marlene caught up with me. "Anyone friends with Lily is a friend of mine." Says Marlene cheerfully.

I then stopped walking causing Marlene to stop too.

I give her my coldest glare causing her to take step back.

"What makes you think that I'm friends with her because we're not friends! She is only my tutor and that's it! I don't need friends!" I yell at her before running away.

 _What's the point in making friends when they would just leave you in the end?_

 **.o0o.**

I sat down across from Lily once more. I saw a look of surprise flash across her face when she sees me sit down in front of her.

Probably because of what happened at last tutoring session.

I didn't care through. This was my only way of soicalizing with people without having to actually admit to the fact that I actually want friends.

It was slient between us for the exception of Lily breaking the slient every now then to ask me a question. Sometimes it was about the potion we were learning in class, to make sure I understood it. Which I did but sometimes I would ask certain questions to make it look like that I did need help in Potions. Other times, she would ask casual questions to keep it from getting to awkward between us.

They were simple questions that I didn't have a problem with answering. Like, what is your favorite animal? A cat. What are your favorite colors? Blue and gray.

"Hey, Daisy?" I look up at Lily from the eassy I was writing. "Marlene told me how you had yelled at her earlier today and how you didn't want to be friends. If you don't to be friends then that's fine. I'm not going to force you or anything and I'll try to keep Marlene off your back. I just was wondering if I did anything wrong to make you hate me."

I let out a sigh. Now this isn't a simple question.

I could see a look of curiosity on her face and also a little bit of hurt in her eyes.

I frown as I look down at the potion book that sat on tbe table next to my paper. "I don't hate you, I never had. I wasn't very interested in you and I'm still not very interested in you. You haven't done anything wrong either. I'm just not interested in having friends. I prefer to be alone is all. I also wasn't in a good mood when Marlene showed up, and she just got on my last nerve." I explain softly.

I look up at Lily. She stares at me before giving me a small smile. "That's alright, I understand that Marlene can be a little overwhelming with her weirdness. I'll try my best to keep you off your back but I can't promise anything. But if you ever want to, you can come hangout with us. I don't mind, neither will Marlene. She already gotten over you yelling at her. Stuff like that doesn't keep her down for long."

I nod to what she was saying. "Thanks, I appreciate that and I'm glad Marlene is doing alright. I was pretty harsh."

To be honest through, what I said was a lie. The one thing I hated most was being alone.

But I was to much of a coward to stand up and say that I didn't like being alone.

That the real reason why I freaked out was because I was afraid.

I was afraid of making friends.

Of being disappointed when they leave you behind.

Of the pain I will receive when everyone I care about will one day leave me.

Just like _he_ did.

 **.o0o.**

The sound of feather pens scurrying across paper filled the room as students sat there desk. Busy answering the questions on there potion test.

I sigh as I look back down at my paper after observing my classmates. I tap my fingers against the table with my empty hand as my right hand held the feather pen as I was trying to remember all the ingredients to a potion right now.

I look up from the test once more but instead look out through the window. Only to see a black dog run past the window which causes me to raise an eyebrow seeing as dogs weren't allowed at Hogwarts.

The thought of it being an animagus caused me to shake my head with a small smile as I found humor in how stupid that thought.

The only reason why my thoughts even took that route in the first place was because I was one myself. An illegal one of course. It wasn't an easy task in becoming one and despite that, I wasn't proud of it. Mainly because of why I did it and because I did it illegally.

Once I became one. I used it a lot during my 3rd year as a way to hide away from the bullies and to skip Potion class without getting caught. But I stopped doing that when there was one time where I almost got caught.

I let out another sigh as my mind begin to trail along to _him_ once more as I look back at my Potion test.

 _He_ so badly wanted to go to Hogwarts but never did go. _He_ loved reading books about potions. It was his favorite subject.

But I never have cared about the subject through. But _he_ would spend most of _his_ time reading potion books and _he_ would tell me everything _he_ learned with a smile on _his_ face. When _he_ smiled. It made it seem as everything was going to be alright. That everything was perfect.

But _he_ was gone now. This world was without _his_ smile now. Forever.

I narrow my eyes at the test as press the tip of the feather pen to the paper as I continue taking the test. Determintion shot through my veins like lightning.

I can pass this, for _him_. He would want me to pass this.

 **.o0o.**

It was another day in the potion classroom.

I was about to leave when Professor Slughorn called me up.

"I've been noticing that you have been doing very well in this class now. So I wanted to tell you that you don't have to do anymore tutoring with Miss Evans anymore." Professor Slughorn tells me. "I've already informed Miss Evans of this and she told me to tell you that she has no problem with helping you if you think you still need it or if you just have some questions."

I nod. "Alright, thank you," I tell him as I give him a fake smile.

I lost that smile though when I left the classroom as nothing but pain, sadness, and angery fills me from head to toe.

Pain from being so close to achieving what I have been wishing for only to be left disappointed.

Sadness in knowing that this is how will be. I will always be alone with no one my side.

Anger for being so _weak_. For being a _useless coward_. For not being more like _him_. It really shouldn't be surprise on why father left me. I'm surprised my mother and grandmother hasn't abandoned me yet.

I sigh as I remember how I laughed when I was in her company and how I actually started to enjoy her company.

But of course, the happiness I felt wasn't going to last for long.

It never does. All I ever felt was pain, sadness, and anger and in the end. There was nothing I can do to get rid of it.

I wipe away the few tears that rolled down my cheeks.

One thing I wish more then anything, was for him to come back. All I wanted was for my _bestfriend_ to come back. _He_ told me _he_ would always be there for me. he promised _he_ would always be there and yet, here I am. In the middle of a hallway with tears rolling down my cheeks all by myself.

Like the weak little cry baby that I am.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Christmas Break**

Like the usual, I walked through the crowded hallways of Hogwarts by myself. Despite the loudness everyone around me, despite the fact I kept getting bumped by elbows and shoulders. I still felt alone. The darkness of loneliness was beginning to eat me from the inside out.

I've realized awhile ago that I'm only causing myself more pain by separating myself from everyone else. But I'm far too afraid of reaching out to someone.

I wish Lily was still tutoring me. But of course, now that my grades have become higher in potion class. I wouldn't need her anymore as a tutor. But what about as a friend?

I let out a sigh as I stopped and lean aagainstthe wall to avoid being bumped into. Looking around the hallway, all I could see were people in groups, talking, laughing, having a good time.

Why couldn't I have a group of friends like they do? Why can't I get the courage I need? Why the hell was I sorted into Gryffindor?

 **.o0o.**

I stare at the train as dread begins to fill me once more as it begin to disappear in the distance. But the thought of going home and not seeing _him_ kept me from going home. I didn't want to see the aftermath of _him_ leaving. I don't want to see what it has done to the people I care about.

Seeing my mum sad has always made me sad. The same goes for my grandmother. My dad was a different matter through. My dad changed, he's not who he once was anymore. I don't know him anymore. _Him_ leaving has changed my father for the worse.

I stood there in the cold, for what felt like minutes before turning around to head back to the castle. I felt numb as I walked back to the castle through the snow. I couldn't feel the cold. In the pit darkness surrounded me, I felt absolutely nothing.

 **.o0o.**

I stood on my tiptoes once again as I was trying to reach a book I wanted to read.

Too bad Sirius isn't here. I could use his height right about now.

I stopped what I was doing when I realized what I had just thought.

What am I saying? I don't need that idiot's help!

"What are you doing here? I thought you would be at home celebrating Christmas with your family." I jump when I hear Sirius voice.

I whip my head around causing Sirius to take a step back because of my long hair.

"Your hair almost hit me again!"

"Well you should have learned your lesson from the first time!"

He lets out sigh before back up at me. "Fine, whatever. Can at least answer my question?" He asked.

"And why should I tell you my reasoing for staying here? It's none of your business and I don't see how you would even care." I tell him, as I cross my arms over my chest.

He walks closer to me and lends in causing me to take a step back. "Like I said before, it's because I find you interesting," Sirius whispers in my ear.

My breath got caught in my throat and I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my nerves were suddenly rattled and without thinking. I pick my leg up and knee Sirius in the stomach causing him to back up in surprise as he let out a cough.

Placing a hand over my mouth as I couldn't believe my own actions. I would have never done this last year or the year before that.

I snort before bursting into a fit of giggles. It felt so good to laugh again. It felt as if a weight has been lifted from shoulders as laughed at Sirius dramatic antics.

"Oh yes, please laugh at my pain." He mutters sarcastically.

"Y-Your the one who's being dramatic about it." I shot back with a grin.

He stuck his tongue out at me. I do the same causing us both to laugh.

I stopped laughing when I realized that the last time I laughed was when I was around Lily.

I straighten out my back as I stood up straight forcing my smile back into a frown.

I'm beginning to warm up to him. I shouldn't be warming up to him.

A look of confusion spreads across Sirius face once he realized that I had stopped laughing which had his fit of laughter to come to an end to.

"Is something wrong Daisy?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's nothing," I tell him with a frown. "Can you get me that book for me? I can't reach it."

He smirks. "Sure, Shorty." Says Sirius as he grabs the book I wanted. "You know, you could just use your wand."

I roll my eyes. "Shut up, Fluffy," I tell him. "I left it in my dorm."

He rolls his eyes at me and hands me the book.

"Thank you," I tell him.

I then turn around to leave the library and head straight to the astronomy tower to read on my own.

"Hey wait!" The sound of Sirius voice reaching my ear caused me to stop as I look over my shoulder. Hoping that he wasn't going to me any questions about my lie.

"Yes?" I asked, hoping that whayever he had to say was nothing speical.

"I was wondering if you would like to pull a prank with me sometime since my friends are at their house celebrating Christmas. It's boring to pull a prank alone." Says Sirius.

I stared at him in surprise. "Did they not invite you to come with them?" I asked.

"They did but I didn't want to be a bother and I definitely don't want to be around my annoying family members so I just decided to stay here." Says Sirius.

I look down as I shuffle my feet. "Oh, I don't know. I've never actually pulled a prank before and I've never gotten detention before either." My grip on the book tighten.

This could be trap of some sort formed by him and his brother, who has yet to get back for embarrassing in the middle of the library a few weeks ago.

Sirius smirks. "Just for the record, I'm not planning anything with my brother. We actually hate each other and we have never got along before." Says Sirius.

My eyes widen as to what he said as my face burns with embarrassment.

He sticks a hand out towards me. "Do you trust me?" He asked. He still had that smirk on his face.

I smirk at him. "I think I have every reason not to trust you." I tell him.

He rolls his eyes before grinning down at me. "Come on, let's be _Sirius_ for a second and answer my question."

I roll my eyes before staring down at his hand. I hug the book closer to my chest. It wouldn't be the first time I heard that line. He said it to me before.

 _"Daisy, do you trust me?" I asked as he stood in a tree with his usual grin._

 _I nod. "O-of course I do William. I just don't like heights." I tell him in a soft voice._

 _"But you haven't even tried yet Daisy, you won't know until you try. Come on Daisy, you got to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!" He tells me._

 _He bends down to his knees and lends forward with his hand out towards me. "Now Daisy, do you trust me?" He asked once more._

 _I stare at his hand as my hands grip onto the front of my shirt._

 _I reach a shaky hand before grabbing hold of his firm still hand as I nod. "I-I trust you." I tell him._

 _"Then lets start climbing!" He tells me with a bright grin on his face as eyes seem to sparkle with excitement._

"Hey, Daisy! You still there?" My eyes blinked as I was brought back to reality.

I look up at Sirius to see him staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I gave him a nod to show that I was listening.

"Do you trust me?" Sirius asked once more with a grin as he stuck his hand out.

I let out a breath as I stare at his hand. I felt as if I had stopped breathing and time slowly come to standing still as I stare at his hand.

 _He's trying to mess with your emotions!_

 _It's only one prank, it couldn't hurt anyone, right?_

 _Don't let him get into your head!_

 _The book did say good way of handling grief is by doing fun stuff with other people. Soicalizing can help a lot if you find the right people._

 _And Sirius isn't one of those people!_

 _"Always remember to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"_

I close my eyes as I took a deep breath before opening my eyes and throwing my hand out to grab hold of his.

"Fine. I'll pull the prank with you, but that doesn't mean I trust you." I tell him.

He just grins at me as he gives me a wink. "Fine, fine, whatever you say Daisy."


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Pranks**

The hallway was empty and soundless as and no light shined through the window except for whatever light the crescent moon showed along with the stars along with the light shined from the tip of my and Sirius wand.

Sirius gives me his usual mischievous grin as he hands me a spray bottle. One that sprays paint. The words Red where bright and clear on can which made me frown as it was my least favorite color. Even through it was one of my house color. I tolerated yellow. I find to bright for me.

I look up from the spray bottle in my hand back up at Sirius. "You know, we could just use magic instead," I tell him.

He shrugs but kept his grin. "We could, but where is the fun in that?" He asked before he began spraying the wall with red while doing silly designs.

I shake my head as I smile. "We're in so much trouble when we get caught," I tell him as I follow his lead and begin spray painting the wall a red a shade. One that matches the color of blood.

"That's if we get caught." Says Sirius.

I chuckle. "Oh, we're definitely going to get caught and you know it. We're literally red handed!" I tell him.

After of few minutes of painting the wall in silence. I was starting to feel a little bored as nothing interesting was happening. That was until I came up with idea of how to make this more fun

I looked over to Sirius who was working on spraying painting another wall that was across from me with his back towards me. Big mistake.

He had a grin on his face. I grin mischievously as I point the head of the spray bottle towards before pressing down on the button. Which caused paint to hit the side of his face and clothes.

He froze as he blinked. Before turning slowly towards me. He blinked at me as I grin widely at him. A grin slowly spreads across his head as he glares playfully at me. "Oh, this means war!"

I laugh as he starts spraying me with paint. I close my eyes tightly as I blindly spray paint towards him.

But in the end, our yells and laughter caught something or someone's attention. Well, two people's attentions.

Unfortunately, It happened to be McGonagall and Flich attentions we caught and they were not in very least pleased with the blood like paint that covered the wall.

 **.o0o.**

"I told you we were gonna get caught," I tell him with a huff as I puff my cheeks out as I scrub the wall clean with a sponge as magic was banned to be used to clean the wall as punishment.

 _"I thought you were better then this, Daisy."_

The Flich's words ring loudly in my head. I shook my head as I try to forget the words he said as it made my face burn with embarrassment and my heart burn with gulit.

Me and Sirius both stood in front of them with innocence smiles while red paint covered us from head to toe. It was as if we had just came from a blood bath.

The two adults both went pale before realizing that it wasn't actually blood and was instead just red paint that looked like blood. That did not make them any happier in the least.

Sirius shakes his head as cames to sit next to where I was standing as he had just finished his side of the wall while I was just about finished. "Well, maybe if you haven't started a paint war. We wouldn't have gotten caught now, would we?"

I grin at him as I sat down placing the sponge down on the ground next to me before rubbing my aching arms. "Your the one who continued it." I tell him.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Well I got to protect my pride somehow. You beating me at the begining of this year in DADA did a number on my ego."

I smirk. "Good. You and James both need your ego to go down a little bit. Either way through, there faces when they thought the paint was real blood was hilarious." I let out a yawn as I blink my eyes. "So in the end, this was worth it."

My head would lower before forcing it back up but then it would start to lower again before I force it back off. I did a few more times before I felt an warp around my shoulders. Forcing my head to rest upon a shoulder.

"You did good for your first prank Daisy." I smile at Sirius words.

"Thanks...Sirius." I say as my eyes close and I begin falling into a deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - Gifts**

I groan when sunlight hits my closed eye lids.

I pull the blanket over my head to block out the sunlight.

Please just let me sleep in for once.

I then hear something hitting my window.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Why is life so cruel to me.

I force my eyes to open as I rub the tiredness out of my eyes.

I push the blanket off of me causing the bright sunlight to hit my eyes.

I use my hand to shield against the sunlight.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I muttered to myself when the tapping got louder.

I stood up from the bed and I walk over to my window.

I saw an owl on another side of my window. He stops his tapping when he sees me.

There were two small boxes tied around his feets.

But what was weird about this situation was that I've never seen this owl before. It definitely wasn't my parent's owl.

There was a white owl with brown dots all over it.

This one was just brown.

I open my window and the owl flies inside and lands on my desk.

I untie the small boxes from the owls legs the owl then leaves through the window.

I place them on my desk. I close the window before sittting down in my chair as I stare at the boxes, debating whether or not if I should open then since I didn't know who they were from.

They could be from Regulus.

I sigh, I guess I'm just gonna have to take a chance.

I rip the decorative wrapping off the box before taking the lid off.

I picked up something that looked to be a white and fluffy.

It was a stuffed cat.

I stare at it in surprised. I blinked once. Then twice before small smile formed upon my face as I gently pick up the stuffed cat. I brush a hand over the fake white fur as I studied it. I place the cat onto the desk beside the boxes before looking back into the same box the cat from once more only to find one white envelope.

I picked up the letter and flip it over onto the flat side to find that it said: From Lily to Daisy.

My eyes widen as my chest swelled with...happiness? I felt tears prickle at the corner of my eyes as I plaxe a hand over my mouth. Completely shocked at the fact that I got something from Lily on Christmas Day.

I took a deep breathe and swallow back unwanted tears as I sniffed. I couldn't cry.

I couldn't cry.

Only the weak cry.

A part of me knew that wasn't true but I listen to it anyways.

I shook my head to get rid of the depressing thoughts before rippin the letter open pulling it out the parchment that was inside the envelope.

My eyes scans the paper as I silently read it to myself.

 _Dear Daisy_ ,

 _I'm sure you're surprised about the gift I sent you or just surprised in general that you got gifts from us since you did say that you didn't want to be friends. Injust thought it would be nice to receive a gift from someone other then your family._

 _I hope your enjoying your winter break and that you like the gift I sent you. I wasn't certain as to what to get you at first but while my mom and I was shopping, I came across this white stuffed cat with blue eyes. I decided to get that for you since you said that you really like cats but can't have one as a pet since your dad doesn't like cats. I didn't name the cat since I thought you would like to name it._

 _I do you hope that you like the gift. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I'll see you when school starts up again._

 _From,_

 _Lily_

I then fold up the letter and I place it to the side.

I grab the box that I assumed was from Marlene.

I pull the lid off and there I see a beaded bracelet. The beads were the colors gray and blue and there was a piece of metal hanging between the beads. It was in the shape of a cat.

Lily did once ask me what my favorite colors were and I answered with blue and gray. It was mine and my brother's favorite color. I'm not sure why, maybe it was because I saw blue and gray as calming colors. I always found the colors red and yellow to be so obnoxious and loud

A small chuckle from my lips at the thought as I slip the bracelet onto my wrist. It was loose but not to where it would fall off.

I look down at the white kitten. She stares at me with her big blue eyes.

I smile at her. "I'll name you Snowdrop," I tell her as I run my hand over the stuffed toy. The fur was really soft even through it was fake.

I grab the letter from Marlene and I rip it open.

I pull the folded letter and I unfold it and I begin scanning the letter while reading it sliently to myself.

 _Hey Daisy, I just looked over Lily's shoulder to see what she was writing in her letter and I can't believe how formal she's being! Last I checked, you were a student not a Professor!_ _And now she is glaring at me because I just told her this. Oh well! Anyways, I hope you're having a fun time spending your Christmas break at the castle._ _This year, Lily and her parents is spending Christmas with my family since I spent last Christmas with her family which was fun but her sister kept on glaring at me. Her sister decided to go to a friend's house while they spent Christmas here. Apparently, she's not fond of magic and often gives Lily problems for it but that'sher lost because magic is awesome. I, on the other hand, through have four older brothers that love to drive me crazy. But Lily finds them a lot of fun to be around. She wishes that she had a brother herself. But I can't blame her since her sister can be pretty nasty at times._

 _Anyways, Lily told me that you love the colors blue and gray and so I decided to make you the bracelet since I like yo make beaded bracelets when I'm bored and I added the cat charm because Lily did say that you love cats a lot._

 _Also, I was wondering, do you have any siblings? If you do then how many? If you don't then can you tell me what's it like to be an only child? I've always wondered what it was like to be an only child._

 _Anyways, I think that's enough. Lily keeps telling me that I'm writing too much. But I can't help but get off topic and I love to talk if you haven't noticed. But I hope you're having a fun Christmas and that you like our gifts._

 _From your friend,_

 _Marlene_

 _Ps. I know you don't think of us as your friends. But that doesn't mean that we don't think of you as our friend and I'm sorry for how I kept forcing myself on to you. I was just tired of seeing how sad you were and I just wanted to see you smile. But I seemed to have done it at the wrong time or in the wrong way, probably both. Anyways, I'll see you when school starts again. Bye!_

I sniffed. I then noticed wet spots on the paper. They looked fresh. I then left my hand up to my cheek. They were wet.

I was too busy reading to notice that I was crying. I quickly wipe the tears away.

I then fold Marlene's letter and place it on top of Lily's letter. Off to the side.

I then grab a parchment, a feather pen, and ink. I then begin writing my own letter to them with a smile on my face.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 - Stars**

The air was clear and cold as I let out a small breath which caused a whip of white fog fly into the air from my lips. The cold air nipped at my skin as I stared up at the night sky that was filled with countless of stars.

Leaving my open book forgotten as it sat on my lap. I wore my usual blue and gray sweater to keep the cold at by as I sat here on top of the Astronomy tower. I gaze the stars as I lift up my hand and begin tracing the shape and whsipering the names of different constellations.

"And right here is the brightest star in the sky." I hear a voice behind me which causes me to look up only to have a pair of mischievous eyes meet mine with a mischievous grin to match there eyes.

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh and what star would that be then?" I asked.

"Sirius, of course." He tells me as he sits down beside.

I roll my eyes at him. "Ya, your the brightest at making stupid jokes." I mutter to myself.

This caused Sirius glare at me. "Hey! My jokes are brilliant thank you very much!"

"Ya, ya, whatever helps you sleep at night." I tell him with a laugh.

He sticks his tongue out at me which I mimic. We both let out a laugh.

It was then silent between us as I continue to stare at the stars.

I look down at one point to place bookmark in the book I was reading before the stars had came out.

I close the book before speaking up. "So...why did you come up here?" I ask him as I look back up at him.

"Because I wanted to see the stars?" He tells me with a cheeky grin.

I stare at with a flat look. "I highly doubt that." I tell him.

He raised an eyebrow at me as he lets out a low whistle which causes me to fill with confusion. "Highly. Dang, I don't I ever hear someone speak like that before aside from Remus. You to would get along really. With you both being book nerds and all."

I just stare at him with an unamused look. Waiting for the answer to my question.

He lets out a huff. "Jeez, no sense of humor, such a tough crowd." He complains.

I roll my eyes again but I crack a small smirk. "Well maybe if you would stop dodging the question maybe then I wouldn't be so harsh when comes to your humor." I tell him.

Sirius grins at me his ususl grin. "Simple, I was bored and so I decided to come looking for you. Not only that, you never answered my question." He tells me.

I raised an eyebrow as confusion swept across my face. "What question?" I asked. I then narrow my eyes. "And how did you know that I would be up here anyways."

He smirks as he waves his hands with a shrug. "I got my ways." He then places his hands on his knees as he sat crisscrossed in front of me. "Now it's your turn. I asked you a few days ago on why you decided to stay here for Christmas instead of going home and you have yet to answer."

I snorted. "You actually want an answer?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

I roll my eyes. "Nosy much." I mutter before opening my mouth again to answer but stopped at what he said.

"Only for you." He winked at me.

I blinked at him as I just stare at him with a blank face.

Did he just try to flirt with me?

I blink again as he sat there with a wide grin on his face. All he ever seem to have is a grin, or a smirk on his face. Or some sort of smug look. It not only annoys the hell out of me that always seems happy but confuses me to. I've never heard anything good when it comes to the Black family.

"That...doesn't even make anything sense." I finally spoke. "But just to get you to shut up. I stayed here because my dad hasn't been very nice and lately, my mum and dad only ever agrue these days and I don't feel like bothering my grandmother. That's all there is to it." I answered simply.

That and the fact that my brother is gone and going home is like going inside of a village that has banned happiness.

Sirius hums in thought as he stares at me with his hand over his mouth. I could see the amsument that was dancing in his eyes.

He then pulls a hand away and places it on the ground as he leans back to look up at the stary night sky. "I've had fun this break hanging out with you." Sirius then looks back uo at me. "Do you think be able do a prank like before again when school starts back up? I would talk about it with guys first of couree but I highly doubt they would mind you joining on our pranks. Of course, that is if your willing to shed off your goody-two-shoes act." Sirius tells me.

I lose my smile. Is he asking me to be his friend?

My eyes widen as my mind floods with memories of us hanging outn laughing, talking, joking around like _friends_ do.

My eyes lowered to the ground.

That's not good.

Not good at all.

I can't be his friend.

I can have _friends_.

They'll just leave you in the end.

They'll just leave me in the end.

I can't handle the pain losing anyone else.

My hands tighten as they grip onto my jeans.

I just _can't_!

"Daisy, are you okay?" His voice causes my eyes to shot straight up. I made eye contact with him. Despite the smile on his face, I could still see the concern in his eyes.

 _False! My head screams at me._ _He will leave you!_

 _Just like William did._

I shot straight up onto my feet at that last fear. I stumble back a little from the speed.

Sirius gets up to his feet to. Concern now covering every inch of his face.

"Daisy?" He asked.

"I-it's late. I should go. Good night." I then walk away quickly towards stairs. Leaving behind a surprised Sirius Black.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 - Anger**

My eyes snapped open. Startled by the nightmare I just had.

My eyes scanned my room quickly as they were wide. I let out a heavy breath of relief once I realized that I was still on my dorm. In my bed.

Not where ever I was in my nightmare. Where was I? I don't remember. I only remember what happened.

Everyone left me.

My brother. My dad. My mum. My grandmother.

Sirius, Lily, and Marlene were all there _insluting_ me. Telling me they would never what to be friends with me and then they left. They left me to sit in dark, on my knees, with tears streaming down my face. They didn't look back, not once.

I took a shaky deep breath as I shoke back a sob. I sniffed as I wipe at the corners of my eyes. Telling myself not to cry once more.

 _Crying was for the weak._ My father's voice rings loudly in head as I force myself to sit up.

I look over at my window to see the sun wasn't even up yet.

I sigh as look down at my hands which were gripping the blank tightly.

What a way to start the last day of winter break.

The last day of winter break.

Which means students will be arriving to school today and clases will be starting back up tomorrow.

 _I wasn't ready._ I wasn't ready to face Lily and Marlene.

Why did I sent them a letter? I shouldn't have done that. I've given them hope that I did want to be friends with them.

The young really are foolish.

 **.o0o.**

Once again, like the usual, I was sitting in the library after classes was over for the day and ever since that night with Sirius at the top of astronomy tower. I've been avoiding him and been careful at steering clear of his friends to.

Sometimes I would hangout with Marlene and Lily. It didn't feel right to be harsh to them after they sent me such nice gifts.

But I couldn't help wonder, what if they were all just acting?

Acting nice to me just to turn around and leave me in the dirt.

None of them, not Marlene, Lily, and Sirius have ever shown any interest of being around me and here they are. Bothering me nonstop. I can't help think they must have something up there sleeve.

I let out a soft sigh before closing the book I've just finished reading. I stand up and walk over to the bookshelf it belonged to and place it back into its place before turning to head out of the library.

Big mistake there since as soon I turn into the hallway outside of the library. I see Sirius and his friends walking down the hallway, talking and laughing. Cracking jokes like any normal group of friends would.

My eyes widen when I realized that they were heading in my direction. I turn to head back inside of the library but frozed when I heard a yell.

"Hey, Snow!" I jump and I whip my head back to look over my shoulder.

I tense when I see Sirius and his friends walking towards me. Fear rushes through my veins as I turn to get away but was stopped when Sorius steppped in front of me with usual grin of mischief on his face.

My eyes widen as I step back in surprise. How did he get in front of me so quickly?

"What do you think you're doing? Ignoring me like that, you should be a shame of yourself, Snow." Sirius says in a teasing tone.

A scowl appeared on my face as I glare at him. Feed up with all the fear and guilt eatijg me out. If only he would leave me alone. Everything will be fine. If only him and eveyone else would just shut up and leave me alone. Hot flesh anger soars through my veins as my fists tighten. "Get the hell out of my way Black!" I demand as I try to get past him but he blocks my path.

My yell tracked several of eyes from people that were passing by. But I didn't care. That was the least of concern as I narrow my eyes onto a surprised Sirius Black.

"Woah, there Snow! Where did all this bitterness towards me come from?" He asked. "I thought we were friends."

"Last I checked I never said I wanted to be friends with you! Actually, I never said that I wanted to be friends with anyone! But now, all of a sudden, there are people who want to be my friend!" I yelled. I couldn't keep my anger down anymore. The dam has finally burst. "Why didn't this happen back in the first year when I actually wanted friends? Now get the hell out of my way Black before I break your neck because I'm sure as hell that I don't want to be your friend and your just gonna have to deal with it!"

I then shove a surprised Sirius to the side as I walked past him in a rush as anfer was still fueling me.

 **.o0o.**

I then kicked a wall once I was in an empty hallway away from all the other students.

"Ugh! Stupid school! Filled with stupid people! I hate this school!" I yelled as loud as I could as I kicked the wall again.

"Now now, what has the well done to you?" I hear a voice asked.

I then whip my head around to yell at who wver decided to bother me only to freeze with a mout hanging open as I come face to face with a tall man that had white hair and a long white beard.

"H-Headmaster Dumbledor!" I squeal in surprise as I immediately straighten up my posture as I stare him in a mixture of fear, surprise, and in amazement.

He gives me a kind smile. "If you don't mind me wondering, why exactly do you hate this school?" He asked.

"W-well, it's just that, I'm just not happy here or at home for that matter and I just wanted to get out some of my anger out since I've been bottling up my emotion. I don't actually hate this school." I tell him quickly.

"Hmm, and why is it that you're sad? Does it have something to do with your brother?" Dumbledore asked

I said nothing as there was nothing fornme to say.

He nods in understanding.

"Come on, let's go to my office so then we can talk in private." Says Dumbledore.

I nod my head. "Alright," I answered quietly.

The man begins walking ahead me fown the hallway. I went to follow him but stopped when I felt like someone was staring at me. I look over my shoulder to see if anyone was behind me. But no one was so I just shook my head and begin following the headmaster.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - Sorting Hat

The sound of my footsteps was the only thing I could hear besides the slight uneven breathing that came from me as I felt I was choking on nerves.

But I ignored the shaking of my legs as I continued to walk forward with my fists so tight that my knuckles were turning white.

I took a deep breathe of relief when I was finally able to sit down. But it didn't last long as I ended up feeling like choking on that relief when my eyes meet the blue eyes of Hogwarts Headmaster.

I swallow as I tried to hide my fear but I knew that it was nothing but a waste of energy as I felt his eyes could see right through me.

"There's nothing to be afraid of Miss Snow. We're just going to have talked over some tea and cookies." Headmaster Dumbledore tells me as he places a plate of cookies on his desk in front of him and two cups beside the plate. "Would you like some, Miss Snow?"

I blinked as I taken back at the question be for shaking my head slowly. "T-Thank but I'm hungry and I'm not a big fan of tea," I tell him softly.

He nods. "That's a shame. If I had known I would have gotten something else for us to drink." He tells me.

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. What is that you wanted to talk about?" I asked.

"Well, you see, there's this thing I've noticed since your first year. You've always kept to yourself. Which, I can't really blame you for doing since your brother did tell me that you got bullied a lot while you and your brother were attending muggle school. He was worried that you were going to get bullied here. So I've been keeping an eye on you because of it." The Headmaster tells me.

I blinked at that. "Well, you've done a terrible job as I still got bullied," I tell him.

"Yes, you did still get bullied no matter how many times I sent Flich after them. Kids can certainly be persistent when they want to be. It seems they've finally come to avoid you on there own through after a while as you were beginning to come cold." The headmaster tells me.

I remind silent as I stare him down as I was no longer afraid of him and simply annoyed at having to talk about my dead brother.

 _Don't listen to a word he says._

 _There nothing but lies._

 _Listening to him would only cause you more pain in the end._

"Miss Snow, keeping all of those negative thoughts inside of you is going to eventually turn on you one way or another." Headmaster Dumbledore tells me. "You need to find a way to release those negative energy."

I let out a huff as I narrow my eyes at him.

It's as if he's able to read my mind.

I roll my eyes though as I started tapping my fingers against the handles of my chair. "Yes, I know that. I've been trying to figure out ways to do it. But the only one that works for me is reading and that's not really releasing it. It's just keeping it at bay for the moment until it overflows." I tell him as calmly as I could let out my irritation overflowing my words.

"How you handle it is your own decision, Miss Snow. But as I recall, Miss Evans seemed to have told you herself that she is more than willing to lend a listening ear to you at any time."

"How do I know she's not lying?" I asked.

"You don't. You just have to take a _chance_ hope that she is being truthful."

My eyes widen at the word, _chance_."

 _"Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy Daisy!"_

I stayed silent as my hand gripped the seat handle. I stayed quiet until I remember the question I have been wondering since the first year.

My eyes trail back up from my lap to Headmaster Dumbledore. "Headmaster, why was I sorted into Gryffindor? I am not brave, I am not daring, I am anything but a Gryffindor in every which way. So why was I sorted into Gryffindor? William deserves to be Gryffindor more than me." I tell him.

The Headmaster only shakes his head. "That is not for me to answer. You should ask the Sorting Hat himself." Headmaster Dumbledore tells me.

I blinked. "Can I?" I asked.

He nods as his eyes sparkle. "You may." And with a wave of his wand. I turn slightly in the direction he waved his wand to see the Sorting some floating over and land onto his desk.

I swallowed before carefully picking up the dusty old hat and place it on my head.

 _"Daisy Snow, it's been quite awhile. My, you've grown since your first year here. You to be a doormat but ever since your brother's passing. You've been putting your foot down. That's a good thing. Through, your mind has gotten quite depressing."_ The Sorting Hat tells me.

I swallowed as I stare down at my hands that sat in my lap.

 _"Why did you sort me in Gryffindor? If you don't mind me wondering, Hat."_ I asked as I was trying to stick to being polite.

 _"That's simple, you got the potential and it has shown. Most people would never have the nerve to talk back to the famous pranksters of Hogwarts due to being afraid of getting pranked themselves. Not only that but when someone said the forbidden M-word to a muggle-born. You didn't hesitate to put him in his place. Not caring one bit who his family was and the Black family is pretty feared."_

 _"That's because I don't give a care what people do to me anymore. I'm just tired of people's crap. That's not me being daring. That's just me being tired."_ I tell the Sorting Hat.

Me? Daring? Ha, that's got to be a joke.

 _"It's no joke, Miss Snow. The fact that you get up every day, knowing you won't be able to see your brother ever again. Takes courage, not everyone can get and stand on there own two feet after losing a loved one. Not everyone can go to the hospital every day and see the person they care for the most laying the hospital bed close to death. You are brave Miss Snow. You may not think so now. But you are, and once you start letting people in, who will be able to see that."_

 _"But I don't want to ket people in! I want William to come back and if I can't have that then I want to be left alone!"_ I tell him as I glared down at my hands as they tighten in fists.

 _"Miss Snow, you want nothing to do with people because your afraid they'll cause you more pain, is that correct?"_

 _"Yes,"_ I answered as I lose my glare but my hands stay in tight fists.

 _"Miss Snow, you got to have a little bit of rain to have a rainbow. That is all I will say. Farewell, Daisy Snow. "_

My eyes widen at that.

It was then silent after that.

I was quiet as I mull over the Sorting Hat's words as I take the hat off of my head.

 _"Yoy got to have a little bit of rain to have a rainbow."_

"Miss Snow," I was broken out of my thoughts as my attention was pulled towards the Headmaster and for the first time. I saw a serious gleam in his eyes. "Death of a loved one is never easy, you may never get over your brother's death. It will always be at the back of your mind. Something you will never forget. Some days, you will be okay, you can handle the pain of your brother's death. Other days, it will be harder to handle and it will feel like you are drowning. Those days, are the days where you will want to lean on those you trust. It will be much easier to handle it if those you trust are right next to you."

I stayed silent before nodding in understanding. The headmaster smiles at me. "Now, I don't think I should keep you any longer then I have. You'll be late for dinner if you stay an longer."

I then stood up. "Thank you Headmaster Dumbledor," I tell him as I bow my head to him quickly before turning to walk away.

"Miss Snow," I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. He still had a smile of amusement on his face. "Keep smiling and one day, life will get tired of upsetting you."

I blinked in surprise before nodding in response. I then turn and begin walking once more. This time, I was able to leave without being stopped.

As I left the Headmaster office, I felt a sense of relief as my mind felt nothing but clear in what felt like forever as for once, it wasn't swirling with negative thoughts.

A faint smile graces my lips.

I guess talking does help.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 - Moving On**

Walking into the rowdy Great Hall as dinner was in sessions.

I stopped at the edge of the Gryffindor table. Staring at the spot at I always sat. By myself.

I tear my eyes away from it. Looking up as I scan all the Gryffindor before my eyes settle upon a particular redhead and blond haired girls.

I stared at them sliently before turning to face at the spot always sat at.

I took one step towards it before turning sharply on my heels as my arms sway to the speed I was walking.

Speed walking towards the people my eyes have locked on to.

The sound of my footsteps come to a stop as I stood right behind Marlene and Lily.

I open my mouth to speak but I close it. My nerves beginning to steal the words right out of my mouth.

 _Your making a mistakes!_ _Turn away now!_ _Turn around before they notice you!_ _Speak you idiot! Say something!_ _No! Don't speak!_ _Just walk away, without a sound. Stick to tbe shadows, just like you always do._ _Just like you always do._ _Just like you always do._ _Always do._ _Always do._

One hand reaches up to grab the front of my shirt while my other hand stays by my side and begins to tighten into a fist.

I swallow as I begin conjuring up any bit of courage that I might actually.

Despite how loud it was in this place. The noise seemed to be blocked as all I could do was focus on my thoughts.

 _Just like you always do._

I don't want things to stay the same through!

I don't to hide away in this bubble of hatred and misery.

I-I want _friends_.

I've _always_ wanted _friends_.

But never thought it was possible. Even when back before William was alive. Back before William was hospitalized. I didn't think having friends was a possibility.

But it is now.

 _"Takes chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"_

"Lily." I spoke her name loud and clear without much thought. This causes Marlene and Lily to turn around to face me.

"Yes?" Lily asked, I could see confusion and...and a bit of...hope?

"I-I," My confidence was beginning to crumble. "M-May I-M-May I," When there was no anger, sadness, or emotionlessness to show. Immediately resort to shyness in an uncomfortable situation that was outside of my comfort zone.

I took a deep breath. "May I- May I sit...with...you...two? Please?" I asked, quietly, and weakly.

Damn. I sounded pathetic.

I felt my face burn due to embarrassment as I looked down to stare at my feet. Not wanting to see there faces.

"Of course, you can sit with Daisy!" I heard Lily's voice as I look up in surprise as I saw both girls beaming at me.

Lily waved her hand as her and Marlene scooted over. Leaving open space in the middle of them. "Come on, sit with us!" Says Marlene.

A faint smile appears on my face I sat down between. My knee bounces slightly as my fingers tap on the table as I felt both excitement and nervousness boil inside of me as the girls begin talking once more while eating.

For once, I actually felt hungry to eat a good amount of food as I talked with the girls.

At this point, my happiness felt like it was shooting through the roof.

 **.o0o.**

I let out a sigh as I was bored as I continue writing out my eassy in the library once more.

"May we join you?" I hear a voice, causing me to jump.

I look over my shoulder to see that it was Lily and Marlene was behind her.

I smile at them. "Oh, yes, you may." I tell her.

"Are you doing the Transfiguration essay?" Lily asked as she sat down beside me while Marlene sat in front me.

I nod with a sigh. "Ya, but I'm having a hard time with it." I tell her.

"I can give you a few pointers if you want." Lily tells me.

I smile as I nod. "I would appreciate that." I tell her.

Marlene watched on us as we worked on our essay before blurting out. "Is it boring being an only child?" Marlene asked.

I blinked as I halted on my essay.

My smile disappearing as I grimace as being remind of the lie I wrote to them when I sent them back letters during Christmas break was like getting a slap to the face to cold harsh reality.

 _I should tell them the truth._ _No! You shouldn't!_ _You shouldn't trust them! There nothing but liars!_

I shook my head.

 _Ignore those voices! Don't listen to them! They want you to live in misery!_ _I'll just hold off on telling them the truth for now._

I force a smile towards Marlene. "I've already given you an answer Marlene." I tell her. "How many times am do I have to answer this question?"

She pouted. "What I meant to ask was that, do you get a lot of your parent's attention since you don't have to fight anyone for it?" Marlene asked.

"Actually, the question you should be asking is: How attention do my parents get from me? Since all I want to do when I'm home is read." I tell her. "But me and my mum do often talk for hours since we have a lot in common. I'm not very close to my father through."

"Why's that?" Marlene asked which earned a slap on the back of her head from Lily.

"Stop asking such personal questions, Marlene." Lily scold the girl.

I said nothing as I thankful that I wasn't going tk be force into talking about my so-called father.

Marlene sticks her tongue at Lily causing me to let out a laugh while Lily rolls her eyes at her friend's childish attics before returning her attention onto me. "Anyways, are you ready for your O.W.Ls Daisy?" Lily asked me.

I groan at the remainder of the exams taking place at the end of the year.

"I hate taking test. I always panic when I take them." I tell her.

"I can help you study for them if you like," Lily tells me.

"I would very much like that Lily," I tell her.

"Good thing I'm a fourth year. I won't have to worry about the O.W.Ls until next year." Says Marlene.

"Which gives you more time to study. I will make sure you study for the O.W.Ls weather you like it or not Marlene." Lily tells her.

"Ah, what?!" Marlene cries out. "I'm starting to think you're trying to work me to death, woman!"

"No, I'm not! I'm making sure you don't fail any of your tests." Lily tells her.

I smile at their antics. Watching as the two begin bickering again.

 **.o0o.**

I let out groan as a bright light hits my eyes. I could chatter between my doormates.

What's today date?

I then heard the word Hogsmeade being thrown around.

Oh ya. It's Saturday. Meaning I can sleep in.

I close my eyes as all I wanted to do wa sleep.

I didn't want to get up.

 _Hogsmeade. Hogsmeade. Hogsmeade._

Wait a second. I blinked my eyes open.

 _I promised the girls I would go to Hogsmeade with them._

 _But I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to sleep and not face the day._ _Not worry about people._ _Not worry about pain._ _Not live in fear._ _But I need to get up._

I promised the girls I would go and I was going to see that promise through.

I never broke a promise and I wasn't going to start now.

I let out a groan as I force myself to sit up.

 _I still need to apologies to Sirius for yelling at him like that in public. That wasn't right of me to do._

I force myself out of bed. I stand up, pressing my feet onto the cold wooden floor.

I scan the room, noticing that my roommates were already gone.

I let out a breath of relief. Thank god, that means I don't have to worry about my prissy roommates.

After going into the bathroom and spashing some water on to my face. I begin brushing my long brown hair while reminding myself that I need to get my hair cut short as it was at my waist now and I didn't really enjoy having long hair.

Once I was done with my hair. I got dress after deciding to keep it down ss I place a blue knitted sweater and some normal jeans and blue slip ons to complete the outfit before running out of the dorm and down the stairs.

When I got to the end of the stairs, I find saw Lily and Marlene talking near the entrance.

Walking towards them, Marlene was the first one to notice me before Lily or I could react. Marlene had dramatically flung herself on to me. Throwing her arms arond my neck while I stood there awkwardly.

"Daisy! You have to help me! Lily won't stop making me study! I fell as if my brain is metling!" Marlene says dramically as she lends onto me, placing all of her weight onto me.

I took a few steps back due to her weight. "Please get off of me Marlene. You're a lot heavier than you seem." I tell her.

"Ugh! Your so mean!" Marlene yelps playfully as she walks way qhile waving her arms around in a fit.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever Marlene, let's just go eat breakfast. I'm really hungry right now." I tell them which immediately causes Marlene to grin before running off through the Gryffindor common room door.

"Food!" Me and Lily hear her yell in the hallway which causes us both to burst out laughing before we begin running after her.

"Wait up Marlene!" I yelled.

"Catch me if you can you losers!"


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 - Hogsmeade**

Walking behind the two girls as they chatter about, whatever they were talking about.

I trailed behind them a few feet.

It was weird. Going for so long barely talking to anyone and then suddenly I throw myself head first into soicalizing.

I let out sigh as I watched the two girls interact. Wishing so much that I knew how react when comes to soicalizing.

I've been so deprived of a social life that, I didn't really know how to talk to people.

 _What if I say something wrong?_

 _What if they don't want anything to do with me once they reailze how much of a loser I really am?_

 _This was a terrible idea._

 _I shouldn't have done this._

 _I should have stayed back and let everything stay the same as they always are._

 _For you will always be alone._

I let out soft gasp as my eyes widen at those words.

 _Alone._

 _Alone._

 _Alone._

My fist tightens as I stared at the girls in front of me that were still chatting happily as we walking around Hogsmeade, unaware of the turmoil that was inside me.

Walking around Hogsmeade with the two girls. It seemed to have given Hogsmeade a new light as the girls would point certain things put that I never noticed before or never looked twice at. Making it seem like I was exploring a whole new place all together.

A faint smile forms on my face as it was the best smile I could form as I sped up my walking speed to catch up to the girls.

 _I don't want to be alone, not anymore._

I open my mouth to say something to the girls but I froze when I saw a certain black haired boy walk into a shop on his own.

This causes Lily and Marlene to stop once they realized I had freezed. I saw them exchange looks in the corner of my eye but didn't react as I wasn't paying any attention to them. But to the shop that the boy walked into.

"Daisy, something wrong?" I hear Lily ask as I turn to face her before forcing a smile.

"I'm fine. I just realized there was something I had to do. It'll be quick." I tell her.

Marlene and Lily give each other a confused look before giving a small shrug as Lily smiles at me. "Alright, we'll be at the Three Broomsticks then." Says Lily. She looks at Marlene while moving her hand. "Come on Marlene."

I wave bye to them before turning around and head straight for Zonko Joke's Shop.

Walking there, it seemed to drag on forever as when I finally stopped in front of the shop. I just stared at the doors.

 _I let out a sigh as I explore Hogsmeade for the first time. It wasn't as glamorous as I thought it would be._

 _I stopped walking and sat down on one of the benches that was littered among the small village._

 _Maybe if William was here, it would be better. But he wasn't. All because his condition had gotten worst_.

 _I stood back up and begin walking towards the one shop I had yet to enter and once I had reached it's front doors. I couldn't help but look up at it in awe._

 _Zonko's Joke shop._

 _The one shop my brother wanted to go to the most. The one place we've wanted to go since we've heard about it._

 _I just shook my head before turning away and begin walking away.. I didn't want to go in there. Not until William is by my side once more._

I shook my head as I try to push the memories to the back of my mind.

 _I need to go in there._

I grab hold of the door. Opening it before taking my first step towards the entrance.

My chest felt tight with nerves as force myself walk into the building.

Warmth immediately engulfed me as I walk inside of the shop.

Scanning the place around me, my eyes widen at how colorful the place was. Staring everying that could potentially used for pranks.

My mind already warpping its self around the idea of each item in this place I could use in a prank.

My mind already working and planning different ideas that could potentially cause trouble for those that were the targets.

 _But that's not why I was here._

I shook my head as I ws trying to get back on task. I could at everything that is here later. First, I need to find Sirius.

"Daisy Snow, what is a Goody-two-shoes like you doing in a shop filled with stuff that's ment for pranks?" I jump at the tauting voice.

I whip my head around to find a smirking black haired boy. Staring into his gray eyes, I saw the usual soark of amsument with the grin to match it.

"Following you!" I blurted out in a panic which causes him to raise an eyebrow while my face burns in embarrassment.

Covering my face with my hands as I shook my head.

"Following me?" I heard Sirius echo. "Jeez, I didn't think you thought so highly of me."

"No-I-that's not what I meant!" I yelled as I wave my hands about in embarrassment. "I-I saw you walk into here so I followed you so then I could...I could talk...to...you?" I tell him, my voice beoming quieter as it reaches towards the end of my sentence.

Falling into the trap of shyness once more as I was hiding behind a mask of anger or of emotionlessness.

I stare at my hands as I fiddle with my fingers.

 _This was stupid._

 _I shouldn't have come._

 _Now he thinks your weak._

 _He's always thought you were weak._

 _He only hanged out with you during Christmas break because he no else to hang out with._

 _He wants nothing to do with you._

Raising my hands slowly to cover my ears.

 _Shut up!_

 _Shut up!_

 _Shut up!_

But before I could cover my ears. I felt a pair of hands grab my wrists and bring them back down.

I look up in surprise to see Sirius standing in front of me. I only saw traces of curiosity and...and...worry? "Then talk. What is it that you wanted to tell me?" He asked me.

I blinked in surprise as I could detect no amsument in his voice before swallowing as I looked down to see his hands still holding my wrists. That's when he quickly dropped mg wrist.

A strange feeling begins to bubble up from my stomach and it begins to swirl around the inside of my chest. A warm feeling that spreads across my chest as I look up to meet his eyes once more.

Meeting his eyes, I didn't see my brother. These eyes, they weren't my brother's eyes. They were Sirius's eyes.

The eyes of someone who is alive.

I need to start living, not just for the dead, but also for the living.

"I'm sorry." I spoke. A look of surprise shower on his face. "Back when I yelled at you in the hallway, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that in public."

He blinked before letting out a sigh as he ran a hand over his face and through his hair.

"No, it's fine. I should have approached you sooner instead of waiting. You just always seemed so unapproachable. I didn't know how to approach you since your not like any other girl I've ever met." Sirius tells me.

I raised an eyebrow at this before narrowing my eyes playfully. "But I thought the famous Sirius Black always knew what to do." I tell him with a smirk gracing my lips as I felt a rush of confidence.

He grins, which causes his gray eyes to sparkle again with mischief.

"I thought the same thing to, my darling." Says Sirius as he gives me a wink which causes me to scrunch my face up at the new nickname.

"Don't call me that." I tell him as I cross my arms over my chest.

"Oh, that's right, your name is Shorty." He tells me with a snap of fingers.

"No it's not you ass!" I yell at him as I smack him on the shoulder which causes him to let out a laugh and after a few minutes, I follow suit.

I felt light.

I felt free as mine and Sirius laughter rings out into the air.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - The Three Broomsticks**

"You know, now that I think about it. Where are your friends?" I asked before looking around us. Half expecting them to jump out of nowhere.

"They're not here so you go nothing to worry about. Peter and James are over at the Three Broomsticks right now. I would be with them right now but I had something to get so I told them that I would meet them there." Sirius tells me as he raises his hand to show that he was holding a small bag that had something in it.

I nod before realizing that he only mentioned to names. My eyebrows knit together as I stare at him in confusion. "Isn't there a fourth boy that hangs out with you three?" I asked.

"Yes, his name is Remus, Daisy. But he's actually now feeling well right now. We were going to stay behind with him but he told us to go on ahead. So we decided to grab some chocolate for him as a surprise." Sirius explains.

"Aww...looks like big bad  
Sirius does have a soft spot." I tell him which causes him to roll his eyes.

"About you? Where are the girls?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, Marlene and Lily are at the...Three Broomsticks to." I tell, just realizing now what that meant.

I watch Sirius' eyes begin to widen just as mine to widen too.

"Oooh, that's not good news." Says Sirius as he begins walking towards the entrance with me right behind him.

"Let's just hope Lily hasn't tried to kill James yet," I tell him as he walks out of Zuko's Joke shop.

Only to find an angry Lily rushing out of the Three Broomsticks.

I leave Sirius behind as I run towards where the girls were heading.

"Lily!" I gasp out. "Slow down, please." I huffed loudly as I came to a stop near her.

Lily had come to a stop once Marlene had reached her and once she was a good distance away from the Three Broomsticks.

"That jerk face just doesn't when to shut up!" Lily roared. "Me and Marlene both told him to be quiet! Even Peter was trying to pull him away but he doesn't know when to listen to people! He only ever listens to his damn ego!"

Marlene grins. "So Lily here did the only thing she could do to get him to listen. She punched him in the nose!" Marlene squealed excitedly.

I raised an eyebrow as I grin. "You actually punched him?" I asked.

Lily's cheeks turn to a light red as she runs a hand through her dark red hair. "Y-ya...I guess I did do that." A small faint smile appears on her face.

Marlene then narrows her eyes at me which causes me to raise. "You got some explaining to do missy!" Marlene tells me as she places her hands on her hips.

Me and Lily both throw looks of confusion at Marlene.

"I-I do?" I asked.

"Yes, you do! You said you had something to do and yet I see you walk out of that Joke shop with Sirius right behind you!" Marlene tells me which causes Lily's eyes to widen before looking over at me.

I blinked my eyes at her before rolling them as a faint smile appeared on my once I realized that I was joking.

"That's because I owed Sirius an apology. I yelled at him when I shouldn't have like I yelled at you two when I shouldn't have." I tell them.

Marlene grins. "I think there's something more going on," Marlene tells me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What's that opposed to mean?" I asked.

"Someone has a crush!" Marlene sings while Lily grins at me.

"W-what! I-It's not like that!" I yelled at them as I stomp my foot against the ground which causes them to double over in laughter.

"See you later Daisy!" I jumped when I heard my name being yelled before looking over my shoulder to see Sirius waving at me while standing beside James, who was bending over and with his hands over his face while Peter appeared to comfort James.

I gave him a faint smile as I wave my hand. "See ya Sirius!" I yell back.

"But that's what we see." I jump once more at the sound of Lily's voice.

I look back at her while waving my hands in the air. "R-really! It's not like that you guys! Just let me explain." I tell them.

"I don't think you have anything to explain. Don't you think so Marlene?" Lily asked as the two begin to walk away from me and towards the castle.

"Yep, I agree with you, Lily." Says Marlene.

"H-Hey, wait up guys!" I yell as I start running towards them, which causes them to start running away from me.

"Stop teasing me!" I yelled as a smile appears on my face.

 _Life is certainly different when you have friends by your side._


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 - Comfort**

A yawn left me as I stretch my back.

"Lily! My brain feels like it's melting!" Marlene cried out as lends her head om the table. "I don't want to study anymore!"

Lily lets out a sigh as she begins rubbing your eyes. "Marlene, you're still having a hard time understand this stuff which means you need to keep studying."

"Well, maybe it's because all of this stuff is fifth-year stuff when I'm a fourth year!" Marlene shot back, sending the two girls into another battle of bickering.

I roll my eyes as I rest my chin onto my hand.

Tiredness weighted heavily on me as I wasn't able to get much sleep the night before as it was filled with nothing but nightmares.

 _You're not good enough._

 _They don't care about you._

 _They don't even know you._

 _They can never know you._

 _You can't trust them._

 _You don't even deserve them._

Shutting my eyes closed as I took a deep breath.

I have been trying so hard, so hard. To fight back against the negative voice. But it was so hard though, it was easier to give to it. The more I ignore it. The more I pretend it's not there. The stronger it becomes. But I can't give in. Not now.

My open my eyes as I sat up. Seeing that the two girls were still bickering.

A faint smile appears on my face.

I can't let them see how much I'm struggling.

I can't make them worry.

They can't see me as weak.

"Lily," I spoke softly which brought the two girls to stop their arguing and look over at me with looks of surprise. "We know that you mean well when comes to making us study but we all need to take a break and let our minds rest for sometime before we go back to studying."

Lily was silent for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. "Alright, fine. Let's head back to the common room then." Lily tells us.

"Yay!" Marlene cheered before leaping out of her chair and running out of the library.

"Marlene! Don't forget your books!" Lily yelled after which caused me to burst out laughing.

.o0o.

A soft smile was on my face as I lend against the window. Enjoying the peaceful silence as I sat in a window seat. I lost it through when I heard the sound of pounding feet hit the floor.

I let out a sigh of annoyance as I open my eyes slightly, only for them to widen when I see an angry Lily show up around a corner.

I sat frozen in place as I watch her march right past me in a hurry not even sparing me a glance which only caused worry to stir in my chest which causes me to force me off the window seat as I went to take a step forward.

 _Why help her?_

I froze as the negative thoughts start showing up. Showing up at the worst possible times, as usual.

 _She wasn't there for you when you needed someone._

 _No one was._

 _Because no one cares._

 _So why should you care?_

I clutch my fists tightly as I narrow my eyes onto Lily's retreating body.

 _Why should I care?_

 _Why should I care?_

 _"Wanna know what my favorite thing about you is Daisy?"_

My eyes widen at the sound of my brother's voice ringing through my head. So clearly, as if it was just yesterday.

 _I look up from a book as I sat in a plastic chair by his bed as I look over at my brother who laid in his hospital bed as he stared up at the ceiling. Taken back at the sudden question. I blinked a few times as I stare at him. "Sure," I answered finally, curious as to what the answer._

 _"Your loyalty," Was his answer. "And your kindness. You never express hatred to those that bully you. You never fight back because you don't hurt them. Because you know how it feels. I don't understand it and yet, It's what I admire most about you."_

 _My eyes widen as his words hit my ears. Never actually believe that those qualities were anything special. "But...those are the qualities I hate most about myself. As it often causes me pain." I tell him as he turns onto his side to face me._

 _"Daisy, you're going to feel pain in life. That's just how life works. It sucks, but you will get through it. I know you will. You are far stronger then you think. Never let pain change who you are as a person. Always be you, Daisy. No matter." He asked as his face took on a look of seriousness. Something that always looked so unnatural to see on his face._

 _I blinked at him in surprise before giving him a smile. "As long as you're here with me, pain could never change me."_

I had forgotten about that day in the hospital. What he said had surprised and seemed come out nowhere. I had forgotten it as I viewed it as unimportant. But it was important, as a few months after that day. He died.

I shook my head as I force myself to catch up to Lily, who had just turned around a corner.

I won't let pain change me. Was the thought that ran through my mind as I place my hand on Lily's shoulder. Not helping her would be heartless in my eyes and that's not me. That's not the person I want to be. I want to be the person that cares for people unconditionally. A person people can always go to for help.

Lily stopped and turned to face me with a look of surprise on her face. I give her a faint smile. "Are you alright Lily?" I asked her.

I can't be that person if I'm bitter and distant.

The anger from earlier was slowly replaced by sadness as tears prickle at the corner of her eyes as they begin spilling over.

I stood there in shock as my begin to go all over the place.

 _How do you comfort a sad person?_

I've never had to comfort a sad person before. When mum and grandmother cried after William passed, I walked away as I didn't want anything to do with anyone.

Dad got angry. He never showed any sadness, only anger.

William. I've never seen him sad that I can remember. He only ever showed happiness and anger. Anger towards those that were mean to me. Happiness towards those he cared about. The only time I've seen him cried was when that day in the hospital. The day he passed away. He cried because sorry. Sorry for all the pain he caused me. For all the pain that e caused his family.

If anything, I was always the one that cried. The one that comforted it. Dad always got angry at me when I would start crying and call me a wimp while William and mum would comfort me, including grandmother if she was there.

Mum would hug me and tell me everything is alright.

 _I can do that too, right?_

 _Only one way to find out._ Was the last thought that crossed my mind as I wrap my arms around Lily's shoulder and brought the taller girl to me as she stood a couple inches taller than me.

The girl continues to cry onto my shoulder as I pat her on the back. "It's alright Lily, just let out, you can talk when you're ready," I tell the girl softly.

 **Author Note-**

I am republishing this chapter because I apparently posted a chapter from Fullmetal Alchemist story without realizing it. I only found out about this because someone mentions it in a review. Chapter 15 is being reposted because I accidentally deleted when I meant to delete chapter 16 sooo ya. I hope those that take the time to read this enjoy it. Bye bye.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 -** **Not Ready**

Once Lily had come down enough to where she was only sniffling and we were sitting in one of the windows and she immediately came clean about what had made her so upset that she was sobbing.

She told me about she was outside at the lake hanging out with Marlene. There were a bunch of other students outside today to but they didn't pay any mind to the other students.

But then they heard a yelp which caught their attention and brought it over to where they could see a huge group of students was laughing and cheering.

"And that's when I saw it. I saw Serves hanging in the air, upside in front of all those students. I of course quickly got and ran over there to see what was going on. Only to find out that Potter and his stupid friends were all behind it." Lily tells me.

"E-even Sirius?" I asked.

Lily was silent as she nodded. "Yes, even Sirius was there." She said softly.

I was silent as I let Lily continue her story. Apart of me of listening to her story while another apart of me was distracted by my thoughts.

 _You shouldn't have become friends Sirius._

The negative voice came back to haunt me once more. Stronger than before as it tears at my insecurities.

 _He betrayed you._

 _He hurt your friend._

 _He went out of his way to hurt another student._

 _He can't be trusted._

 _He's nothing but a bully._

"He called me the-the... _M-word_..."

I blinked when Lily's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "W-wait, who called you that?" I asked which caused Lily gave me a look of confusion. I could feel my cheeks begin to burn as I open my mouth. "I-I'm sorry Lily, I got distracted by own thoughts on the situation. I'm sorry, I just need you to tell me who it was that called you the M-word. That was the only part I missed." I explain.

"Oh, it was-it was Serves. He-He called me it when I was trying to help him. He said he didn't need help f-from..a-a...m-mudblood." Lily went down to a soft whisper towards the end.

I glared down at my hands as my blood begins to boil as all I wanted to do was hit all of those boys with a book in the face as they did nothing but cause pain to my friend.

 _You shouldn't have made friends._

 _Friendships bring nothing but misery._

 _Stop trying to make friends._

 _Give up._

 _Give up._

 _It's better to be alone._

 _No one can turn there back on you when you don't have anyone to do it._

 _It's better to be alone._

 _It's better to be alone._

Shut up! Shut up! **Shut up!**

I yelled at the negative voice inside my head as I close my eyes and begin pulling at my hair.

 ** _SHUT UP!_**

I don't want to be alone!

Lily and Marlene haven't caused me any pain since I started hanging out with them on a daily basis.

I wasn't friends with Serves or any of Sirius friends. I was only friends with Sirius and in the end, he betrayed my trust. But I won't make Lily and Marlene suffer because of his actions when they were not on control of it.

"Daisy! Snap out of it!" My eyes suddenly snap open when I felt someone shaking my shoulders.

I blinked as I looked up at Lily. My blue eyes meet her glassy green eyes. "Are you alright?" The girl asked me as she sniffed. "It's not fair of me to tell you my problems and you don't tell me your problems," Lily tells me softly as I begin to look down at my hands once more.

I should tell her. She's my friend. So I should be able to tell her, right?

 _Wrong!_

I cringe at the loud voice in my head as I close my eyes tightly

 _She's nothing but a filthy liar!_

I clutched my fists tightly as I threw my head back. " ** _She's not filthy!_** " I screamed as loud as I could as my hands begin gripping at my hair.

I breathe in heavily as I open my eyes, only to meet a pair of green eyes that held nothing but fear and worry. "D-Daisy? What's wrong?" Lily asked me as I could hear the worry overflowing her voice.

I felt my cheeks begin to burn as I push myself off the seat and begin walking away.

The sound of my feet hitting the ground filled the air as I rush forward. "W-wait! Daisy! Where are you going?" I hear Lily yell after me which causes me to freeze.

Silence filled the air as I stare straight ahead as tears begin to well up in my eyes.

 _I'm not ready. I-I don't know how to explain what's wrong._

"Go find Marlene, Lily, and hang out with her! I just need some time alone to think. I'm sorry Lily. I'm just not ready to talk." I call back out to her before rushing myself down the hallway.

 **.o0o.**

I slump against a wall on the ground as I breathe heavily. Staring at nothing as I delve head first into my thoughts once more.

Running was definitely not my strong suit. Neither is swimming through.

Then again, I'm not really good at a lot of things. All I'm good at is climbing trees, reading, and being happy without a reason used to be something I was good at too. But it seems I lost that skill.

A soft sigh left my lips as I end up looking down as I bring my hands up with the palm facing up.

 _Why are things like this?_

 _Why do I fight with myself?_

 _Why am I so set on causing myself misery?_

 _Because your brother was pain all the time before he passed._

 _Because you didn't smile for him when he asked you to. You didn't smile. The last thing he saw before he passed, was your frowning face which was covered in tears._

 _You couldn't force a smile._

 _You couldn't do that one thing for her._

 _You really are useless._

My head shot up when the sound of footsteps filled my ears before pushing myself back onto my feet. I begin stretching my back and muscles before I begin straightening out my clothing. Only to notice a small wet spot on my shoulder.

I just dust off my shoulders, knowing full well that the wet spot was from Lily's tears, which was honestly the least of my concerns as it will eventually dry.

By the time I look up in the direction of the footsteps, I see a few boys turn around a corner.

My eyes widen as a scowl made its way to my face as I watch the four boys shove into each other while laughing.

I felt my blood begin to boil as my fist tightens when my eyes made eye contact with a pair of gray eyes once the four boys have walked closer to where I was standing.

"Daisy! What are you doing just standing there?" I heard him yell with amusement laced in his voice.

 **.o0o. Author Note .o0o.**

I honestly don't know what I'm doing at this point and if it would stay, there would be a laughing emoji here.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 - Trouble**

"Hey, Daisy! What are you doing standing there for?" I hear him yell with amusement in his voice.

 _What are you standing there for?_

 _Give him a piece of your mind already!_

 _He betrayed your trust._

 _So you should get payback._

 _You should slap him. Maybe even punch him. Throw a spell at him or two._

I only shook my head at the negative thoughts that continued to swirl around my mind which only causes my frown to depend as I cross my arms over my chest as I force myself to stand tall, or as tall as I could sense all four boys were pretty much towering over me. Even Peter, who was the shortest, stood a good couple of inches taller than me.

 _Violence isn't the answer. It never is._ Was the only thing I thought of as I watched Sirius raise an eyebrow while I hear James let out a snicker.

"Uh oh, looks like Paddy is in trouble," James tells them which causes Sirius shot him a glare.

"Shut up Bambi." Sirius shots back at him which makes James mutter under his breath while Remus and Peter both let out snickers of themselves.

I let out a soft sigh. I honestly would have started laughing as I have heard of the name Bambi before but due to my own anger. I wasn't able to.

"To be honest, I'm not happy with either one of you," I spoke as they four stood in front of me. Clear confusion showed up on their faces but I ignore them and instead continue on with what I was saying. "But more so with Sirius, since I never held an actual conversation with any of you three seeing as I like to keep to myself," I tell them as I switch my gaze back onto Sirius, only for it to be blocked when James decided to stand in front of his friends.

James practically towered over me which made me cringe slightly but I kept my ground.

Damn, why did everyone around me had to be taller than me?

"And what exactly is it that made you angry at Sirius...again and how does it include us?" James asked as he narrowed his eyes at me.

I tried to fight the urge of grabbing my shirt and breaking eye contact to the best of my abilities. In the end, I swallowed hard, was able to keep eye contact and resorted to gripping the side of my skirt.

"I could have sworn that Sirius told me that you have a crush on Lily, James," I tell him which caused him to blink in surprise before giving Sirius a look.

Sirius just flashed an innocent as he raised his hands in defense which only made my blood boil as my hands grip tighten into fists with my skirt still in it's grip as tears begin to prickle at the corner of my eyes as I James made eye contact with me once more as my nervous were becoming stronger and stronger with every passing second.

 _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

 _You got to keep your emotions in check._

"What about it?" James asked.

"If you like her, then why did you make her cry?" I asked softly.

This caused all four boys eyebrows to suddenly raise upwards.

"Cry? What are you talking about Daisy? Last I saw her, she was stomping away from us." Sirius tells me.

"Yes, when I first saw her earlier, she was angry. So angry to the point that she stomped right past me while I was sitting in a window. Not giving me one glance. You wouldn't know this, but even though I have only been hanging out with her for a short while. I still knew this was out of character for her. You, of course, wouldn't because you never do hang out with her. But once I got her attention, she started crying her heart out. All because who four decided it would be fun to bully her best friend, who in the end, spat the word _mudblood,_ right in her face." I tell them as my hands let go of my skirt and instead turned into tight fists as I took a step closer to James.

I watch as James' eyes narrow as his hands turn into fists to. "That's not true, we didn't do it just for fun! We did it because he was making fun of us and he deserved what he got!" James fought back as he clearly wasn't about to go down without a fight.

"Two wrongs don't make a right!" I yelled at him as I narrow my eyes onto him.

"You wouldn't understand because you know nothing about the situation! So why don't you mind your own damn business!" He yelled back at me.

My eyes widen as those words hit my ears as I stood there, frozen in place.

 _You wouldn't understand, so why don't you just mind your own business?_

 _You wouldn't understand._

 _Understand._

 _I understand._

 _I sure as hell understand_

It was silent as James stood there, waiting to see if I would say something and after a few seconds have passed. A smirk makes its way to plaster itself on to his face, thinking that he had won while the three other boys watched with only frowns on there faces. Sirius, appearing to have the deepest frown.

Only for them to lose it and have it be replaced by confusion as a grin slowly makes its way on to my face as I let out a snort.

 _"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"_ I let out a loud bellowing laughter as I threw my head back before bending over and wrapping my arms around my stomach as I continue to laugh. The sound of my laughter echoed around the hallways seconds after I had straightened up after my sudden fit of laughter.

I look up at the boys with a wide grin as I stare them down with wide eyes. Noticing the mix of fear and surprise in there faces as I noticed the sudden difference in distance between me and the boys as they had clearly taken a few steps away from while I was distracted. This only made my grin widen.

 _"Correct me if I'm wrong,_ _Mr. Potter_ I begin as I walk towards him, snatching a hold of his tie as I force him to bend over so then his eyes were level with mine which caused his eyes to widen as fear was practically written in his eyes. _"But are you trying to tell me that you know every little thing about my past?"_

I stare at him in silence as he immediately shakes his head, denying what I was asking.

 _"Of course not, because then you would know about how I have been bullied for as long as I can remember. I honestly can't remember a time when I wasn't being bullied by my classmates, muggle and magical alike seeing as I did go to a muggle school before Hogwarts, thanks to my muggleborn mum and my muggle grandmother. I remember how my muggle classmates use to beat me until I was black and blue all over. But not once, I did I fight back. Not once did I go and humiliate them in public. Then we also have the fact that my own_ _fathe_ _r calls my mother a mudblood behind her back right in front of_ _me_ _not even then, did I retaliate when I heard him spit that word out because I was only a_ _child_ _when I first heard him saying that. So I felt nothing but shock as he uses to be such a loving man and I was_ _afraid_ _of him."_ I say the words softly and sweetly, it was almost as if my voice had become as thick as honey.

I then let go of his tie, letting him to slowly stand back up, watching me very closely as he did so, while the three other boys were in shock silent. A smirk hung loosely as I turn to walk away.

I froze for a second before looking over my shoulder as my eyes made contact with a pair of gray eyes.

"Are you sure you want to keep figuring me out, Black?"


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 - Sinking**

I felt nothing, as the sound of my footsteps echoes around me.

It was the only sound that filled my ears as my head felt empty. I felt stares coming from all sides of me as I knew the portraits that I passed by where staring at me.

I could feel the heaviness of everything beginning to weight down on my shoulders once again as a frown seemed to be painted onto my face.

 _Dead brother._

 _Father hates me._

 _Mum is sad._

 _Grandmother is sad._

 _And my "friends" think I've gone crazy._

I use a hand to cover my eyes when the sunlight nearly blinded me.

It appears, without even realizing it, my feet ended up dragging me outside.

I shove my hands into my pocket as I walk past groups of kids. Talking to there friends, filling my ears with there mindless chatter as the feelings I tried to bury begin to resurface and repeatedly smack me across the face.

The feeling of loneliness begins to fill me as my feet came to a stop right in front of the Black Lake.

I stare at my reflection in the water, only to see that my brown hair was a mess. My hair was everywhere, probably from me pulling at it as there were bits of flyaway hair all over the place.

My blue eyes stared down at the lake as my heart felt heavy. Almost as if it was drowning in a river of regret.

My mind was blank as I tear my eyes away from the lake and tilt my head back to look up at the sky.

 _Why do I keep fighting?_

 _What's the point of fighting?_

Crunch!

The sound of multiple leaves being crushed under people feets filled my ears as the sound got closer and closer with every step they took.

A sigh left my lips as I bend down to pick up a small rock before throwing it into the lake, only for it to sink when I was hoping it would skip across the water.

Never have I been able to make a rock skip across the water.

Just like how I was never able to learn how to swim. All due to my _stupid_ fears.

The sounds of leaves being crushed stopped suddenly.

"Hello Daisy Snow," I heard a cold voice coming from behind me.

I said nothing as I kept staring at my feet.

"What, has the cat caught your tongue?" I hear the voice asked which only made me smirk as a small fire was sparked inside of me caused by the irony in what he said.

My eyes meet a pair of blue-gray eyes as turned around to face Sirius's look alike.

"About time you decided to show your face in front of me. Sure did took you long enough for you to gather the pieces of your shattered pride. I didn't know that your pride was that fragile. Not that I'm sorry of course." I tell him in a calm tone, one laced with a bit of coldness.

Regulus stares me down with scowl along with a few of his friends that stood behind him.

I just smirk at him as I watch him open his mouth. But he stopped, and in that second, I noticed something moved in the corner of my eye.

I blinked as I turned, which ended up being a big mistake as, in a blink of an eye. I had a boy that I did not know, right in front of me with his hands on my shoulder.

I felt myself get pushed which caused me to blink my eyes as it begins to widen every passing second,

 _I'm...falling?_

 _SPLASH!_

By the time I had realized I was falling. I had already made contact with the ice cold Black Lake.

The sound of me hitting the water filled my ears for a second before the water filled my ears. The impact had caused me to let out a yelp. But any sound I made was muffled by the water.

Wrapping my hands around my throat, I've been coughing and gagging as the water filled my mouth and nose.

I can't swim!

I need help!

I reach out towards the surface as I sink farther and farther into the water.

 _Who would help you?_

 _You don't have any friends, remember?_

But Lily...and Marlene.

 _They think you're crazy, they only hang out with you because they pitied you._

 _They never actually cared about you and besides, what the chances of them actually knowing that you're in trouble?_

 _In the end, there'll just forget about you. As if you never existed._

Darkness started creeping at the edge of my eyesight as I fight to keep the open.

...Sirius?...

 _Why would he help you? You just yelled at him and his friends. Not only that but he betrayed your trust. He's nothing but a bully._

But...but he seemed so nice. He truly seemed happy when we joked around and bicker with each other. The same goes for Lily and Marlene, they always seemed happy when are around me.

 _Some people are just that good at acting and these people are acting._

I continued to try and fight the darkness that was growing with every passing second as I sink farther into the lake while struggling to breathe.

 _Why do you keep trying?_

 _What's the point of fighting?_

 _William gave up his fight so why don't you?_

 _If you give up, then you'll get to see him again._

William...I want to see him again.

 _Give up then._

 _Give up. Give up._

Give up?

I blinked once before letting my tense body relax as I finally let my eyes close.

 _Might as well as it's clear that fighting is just a waste of energy._

But as I let my eyes close, I felt a sense of regret settle itself into my heart.

 _I'm sorry..._


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - The Office**

A groan slips past my lips when a bright light decided to hit my closed eye lids causing me to roll on to my side as I go to pull my blanket over my head only for it to be ripped out of my hands while the sounds of an excited squeal hit my ears.

"Daisy! Daisy! Your okay!" I heard someone yelling out my name as I was patting around my bed with my eyes closed, looking for my blanket without sitting up.

I let out a sigh when I couldn't find it before forcing my eyes to open. Only to be staring into a pair of green and blue eyes.

I blinked as I see Marlene's grinning face while Lily's face held a small smile while there eyes seemed to be shinning with relief.

I push myself to sit up, wincing slightly at the sharp pain that zipped through my chest as I sit up before observing my surroundings, only to find out that I was in the Hospital Wing.

"W-what happend?" I asked as I rub my eyes, wishing that I could go back to sleep.

The two girls turn to face each other before looking back at me. Worry was etched onto there faces as they stare at me which only caused me to raise an eyebrow.

"Daisy, your in the hospital wing because you almost drowned in the Black Lake." Lily tells me softly.

I blinked before nodding, remembering how I was confronted by Regulus and his friends and ended up getting pushed into the water.

"Why were you in the lake in the first place, Daisy?" Lily asked me.

I blinked, mainly in surprised as I had excepted that they would know. "I-I got pushed into the water." I answered before adding on quickly. "But I don't know who it was that pushed me through as my back was facing them." I lie without a second thought as I stare back at the two girls.

I didn't want to cause a fuss which was I didn't say anything about Ragulus and his friends. I doubt that they were planning on drowning me. They probably assumed I knew how to swim when I didn't.

This brought both girls to let out a breathe of relief which caused me to rsise an eyebrow in confusion. "Oh good, I was afraid for a second there that you threw yourself in the lake yourself." Lily tells me as she places a hand on to her chest.

I stare at them in shock before shaking my head. "Honestly, I would have perfered it if you haven't saved me as I wish to go to sleep and never wake up." I tell them both in a cold voice.

"We didn't save you." Lily tells me as I watch her face become a bit pale at my words while Marlene grimace.

I stare at them as crossed my arms over my chest. "Then who was it that saved me?" I asked them as I begin chewing my lip, enough where I even tear the skin.

They both shrug which only leaves me to let out a groan of annoyance before falling back onto my bed.

"We never asked and so we were never told. We weren't there to see it happen Daisy. We only knew you were here because someone told us you were here so we came here as soon as we could." Lily tells me.

A grin then suddenly appears on Marlene's face. "But what I do know is that we need to get you to reconsider wanting to sleep all the time and the best way to do that is to distract you since you don't want to talk about whats keeping you down." Marlene.

"How? I've been trying to for months so please enlighten me on whatever idea you got." I asked.

"That's simple."

 **.o0o.**

"How are you feeling Miss Snow?" The headmaster asked me as I sat in a chair in front of him.

"I'm alright." I tell him.

I watch as he leans forward onto his desk. "Are you sure?" He asked.

I nod. "Yes, I am fine. There doesn't appear to be any permanent side effects from the near drowning incident." I tell him softly.

"I asking if you were alright mentally and emotionally, Miss Snow." Headmaster Dumbledore tells me.

I nod. "I'm fine there to." I tell him. "Marlene and Lily have been great help in that aspect. Marlene even told me that she has a great of how to distract me from problems. She said she was going to show me her idea later. I worry through, Marlene has been known to come with crazy idea before, I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with any balloons this time." I tell him.

The man with long beard nods as he smiles at me. "That's good to hear, now, on to other matters. Do you know who pushed you into Lake? Lily and Marlene both said that didn't see it happened and not only that but they said that you didn't either, i wanted to if that was true."

I nod. "Yes, it's true, they weren't there when it happened and I didn't see who did it. What I want to know through is who saved me." I tell the man as I look up from my hand.

"I apologize Miss Snow, but he requested to stay anonymous for his own personal reasons so I can't release such information." The headmaster tells me.

I nod as I look back down at my hands. "I understand." I tell him.

 _So the person that saved me was a him._ _That's not much I can go on._

I just shook my head the thoughts.

If the guy doesn't want me to then I should respect he choice.

The sound of my chair scrapping against the floor could heard as I push myself up onto my feet. "If that's all you wanted to speak to me about, then I shall take my leave." I tell him before turninf around to leave.

"Just one more thing Miss Snow," I stopped at the Professor's voice. "While you didn't see who pushed you, your savior and few others did. They said they sae Regulus Black and his friends confronted you and spoke with you before on of Mr.Black's friends pushed you into the lake. Is there anything you wish yo say to that, Miss Snow?" The headmaster asked as I could have sworn I saw his twinkling.

"I didn't see anyone push and I don't recall talking to Mr.Black that day." I tell him as stare him straight in the eye with a frown on my face.

 _Don't make a sound._ _Don't cause a fuss._ _Don't give an reaction._ _And they will all leave you alone._

The headmaster then nods his head. "You are free to go." He tells me.

I nod before turning away from him and leave the office.

A soft sigh left my lips as I left the office.

A part of me wishing that I had told the truth instead of lying as something told me that this was going to backfire on me.

It didn't matter through. Cause no matter how hard I try, everything, one point or another, always backfires.


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 - Baseball**

"How is playing baseball going to be a distraction and why and how did you even get away with bringing a bat with you to Hogwarts?" I asked as I place my hands on my hips while the grinning blonde stood in front of me.

"How and why doesn't matter, and you'll see how it will be a distraction, soon," Marlene says cheerfully as she holds out the baseball bat while she held a baseball in the other hand.

I roll my eyes as I grab hold of it. "How do you even know about it? Not only is it a muggle sport but an American sport. It's not very popular in England."

"Marlene did go to America for the summer with her family to visit some of her cousins," Lily tells me as she stood to the side, against a tree.

Marlene nods. "Yep and one of them decided to show me baseball since I told them I never heard of it."

I let out a sigh as I begin putting some distance between us. "You do realize we don't have enough people to play a normal game of baseball, right?" I asked.

"Yes, I know that! But who says we were going to be playing a normal game of baseball? Not me, I know that I didn't say that for sure!" Says Marlene as I turn around to face her once I put enough distance between us.

"Is it a good idea to play this so close to the forbidden forest?" Lily asked us as she watched us with a raised eyebrow while leaning against a nearby tree.

Marlene just sends her a grin as she tosses a baseball into the air and then catching it with her right hand. "Well, it's either that, or we're near the lake or the castle. I decided neither were would be a good idea to play baseball near since _someone_ might fall into the lake again and I don't want to risk breaking any windows when the ball goes flying." Marlene explains to Lily while the redhead puts her hands up in defense and a surprised look on her face while I roll my eyes at the jab towards me.

"Wow, I didn't take you as one to think ahead like this," Lily tells her.

Marlene sticks her tongue out at her while I let out a snicker which causes Marlene to look back at me with her eyes narrow as she throws her right arm back with the baseball in her hand. "Get ready Daisy!" She yelled as throws the ball at me.

My eyes widen as I go to swing the bat around like crazy just to have the ball land by my feet.

I blinked as I stare down at the ball that landed at my feet before looking up when the sound of roaring laughter reached my ears, only to find Marlene on the ground in a laughing fit while Lily had an arm on the tree and had a hand covering her mouth while she had her head facing downwards.

I feel my cheeks start to burn as I cross my arms while also trying to keep my frown from turning into a smile. "I hate you both," I spoke calmly, trying to keep my embarrassment at by.

Lily stands up straight as she faces me with a bright smile while her eyes sparkle in amazement. "I'm sorry Daisy, it's just seeing you swing the bat like that was so funny," Lily tells me as she tried to force the smile down but failed miserably and ended up letting out a light giggle.

"I-I thought-I thought that you knew how to play baseball!" Says Marlene as she tried to stop herself from laughing while standing back up on to her feet.

I roll my eyes as I bend down to pick up the ball and throw it back at Marlene. "One, I never said I played," I tell her as she caught the ball. "Two, I've seen people play it on TV but I only watched it because I was bored and I wasn't ready when you threw it at me."

"Well get ready now, Daisy!" Marlene tells me before throwing the ball at me again.

This time, I waited before swinging the bat when the ball got closer. Only to miss. I shrug before bending down and picking it up and throwing it back at Marlene.

Marlene throws it at me again and I miss...again.

She throws it a third time and a fourth time and both times, I missed.

I panted heavily as I narrow my eyes while bending down to pick up the ball for the fifth time and throwing back at Marlene.

Marlene flashes a smile at me as she throws her arm back while I noticed Lily had a look of worry.

I let out a soft sigh before locking my eyes onto the ball when Marlene throws it at me.

 _I will hit that ball._ I thought to myself as I throw the bat back.

 _No, you can't._

My eyed widens at the annoying voice that keeps peering into my mind, no matter how hard I try to fight it as I swing the bat.

I hear the sound of the bat swinging through the air before letting my arms drop to my side as I hung my head low as I never hear the satisfying crack of the bat hitting the ball. Instead, I hear the ball hit the ground behind me.

I stare down at the ground as my hair falls in front of my face as I let my arms hang with the bat still in my hands.

 _You really are pathetic._

 _You can't even play baseball right._

 _You're getting upset over such petty little things._

 _You should have died in that lake._

 _You really are worthless._

A scowl made its way to my lips as my fingers tighten around the bat. "I don't want to go to sleep and never wake up!" The words flew past my lips without much thought while saying them in a whisper as I stare at the ground before straightening out my back and throwing the bat back.

"I'm tired," I swing the bat as hard as I could as I hit the side of a tree. "Tired of being sad!" My small body shook as the bat hit the tree before throwing the bat back again. "Tired of being angry!" I hit the tree again. "I want to be fucking happy!" I yelled before letting the baseball bat fall from my grasp as tears begin to fall down my cheeks. "I don't know why...but I do," I say while thinking out loud as I fall to my knees.

 _I'm tired._

 _I'm tired of being sad._

 _I'm tired of being lonely._

 _I'm tired of being angry._

 _I want to be happy._

 _I'm tired._

 _Tired of keeping myself from being happy._

I feel a hand on my shoulder which causes me to look up to see Lily smiling at me as she kneels down onto the ground beside me. I look to the other side of me, to see Marlene sitting beside me with a smile of her own. I let out a sniff as a nervous laugh escape my lips. "I bet you think I'm pathetic for getting so upset at a game like a baseball," I tell the girls as they sat on either side of me.

"No we don't, I've never seen you show this much anger before this year. So I get the feeling that you bottle up your anger until it bubbles over. So the smallest thing can set off the bomb of anger you have inside of you. I would know because I do the same thing." Lily tells me before glancing at the ground and looking back up at me as she rubs her neck. "Of course, maybe not to your extent but, you know."

I then let out a small laugh. "Thank you, I appreciate your help," I tell them with a small smile as I wipe my tears away.

"Of course, that's what friends are for!" Marlene says she throws her arms around my neck which succeeded in making me laugh.

 _Friends._

 _I finally have friends._


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 - Advice**

Pressing my feet onto the cold wooden floor as I push myself off one of the empty beds in Lily's and Marlene's dorm before making my way to the door where my left my shoes, with the soft sound of my footsteps alerting the two girls that I was friends with.

"Daisy, where are you going?" I hear Lily ask causing me to look over at them while I slip my shoes on, noticing the look of curiosity on the girl's faces.

A small smile appeared on my face as I stood up straight, shifting the book that was in my arms. "I was heading to the library," I answered simply.

Lily then begin to sit up on her bed and move her legs to press her feet against the floor. "Well, then I'll com-"

"No," I tell her firmly while cutting her off which causes her to look up in surprise along with Marlene.

I let a soft sigh escape my lips before looking back up at her with a smile. "Thank you but I want some time on my own. It's easier for me to think when I'm on my own. I'll be fine, I shouldn't be gone for too long as I'm only going to turn this book in and check out a new one." I tell them while holding the book up for them to see.

Lily and Marlene were silent as they looked at each other before turning to face me. "Alright, just be safe," Lily tells me.

I give her a small nod before turning to leave the room and descending down the stairs.

 _They don't trust you._

Whatever.

I thought to myself, not caring about what the negative voice had to say as I made my way to the portrait door.

 _You need trust to form a friendship._

I don't know what it was but something had finally clicked. That the negative voices in my head were something I shouldn't listen to which brought me to try and ignore it as I made my way through the portrait door and down another flight of stairs before getting tangled in a crowded hallway.

 _You don't trust them_.

I froze in place, right in the middle of a crowded hallway as I stare wide-eyed at my feet.

 _If you did, then they would know about your brother._

Shaking, my head from side to side as I throw the thoughts to the side.

I'll tell them about it later. I just don't want to talk about him yet.

 _Lies. You speak nothing but lies. Such a hypocrite._

I close my eyes shut as my arms tighten around the book I was holding.

 _Ignore them, Ignore them. Ignore the_ -

My thoughts were cut off as my eyes open immediately when I felt something hit my shoulder and throw me off balance, causing me to stumble until I place a hand onto a wall.

I shook my head, feeling slightly dazed before looking up when I heard a panic voice, asking me if I was alright.

My eyes met with a pair of green eyes. My eyes blinked as I raise an eyebrow at the boy with scars all over his face.

"Daisy, are you okay? I didn't mean to bump into you. I-" The boy continued to go off on to a ramble of sorts, only leaving me to stand there and stare at him an in shock.

And for some unknown reason, a smile made its way onto my face as I snorted before spilling into a fit of laughter causing the boy in front of me to go silent.

Placing a hand over my mouth to try and silence the laugh as I could hear whispering around us.

 _"_ _Is that Daisy Snow laughing?"_

 _"No way, I've never seen her show any signs of joy or happiness before."_

 _"I thought she was a cold person. Someone that never smiles, or laughs."_

I shook my head as I ignore the comments I could already hear them say in my head as I force myself to look up at the boy.

I give him a small smile as I ran a hand through my long hair. Wincing slightly as my fingers get caught in the knots, which only caused me to remember how and why I hate long hair.

"S-sorry about that, I just wasn't excepting you to start rambling or for you to just show up in the first place. Usually when people bump into me. They don't apologize and blame it on me for them almost falling." I tell him softly.

He stares at me in surprise as he blinks his eyes. "O-oh. A-are you alright?" The boy asked.

I nod. "Yes, I'm fine," I tell him.

 _You're not fine._

The thought didn't make my smile falter through as I kept my smile on my face as I continue to head to the library.

 _I am fine._

 _I got problems._

 _I got issues._

 _But I can deal with them._

 _Because I am alive._

 _I am healthy._

 _And I will be fine._

"O-oh, that's good to hear." The boy tells me with a smile as he begins to walk beside me.

"Are you heading to the library?" I asked him.

He gives me a small nod. "Yes, I am. I'm assuming you are too?"

"Yes I am...your one of James and Sirius friends, right? I'm sorry, Sirius told me your name but I've forgotten what it was." I tell him.

"That's alright, my name is Remus and your name is Daisy, correct?"

I nod. "Yes, that's my name," I tell him as we turn into the library.

I walked a few steps before realizing that Remus wasn't at my side anymore. I turn around to find that he had stopped walking in the middle of the Library's entrance.

"Is everything alright Daisy? You're acting weird." Remus tells me as he crossed his arms over his chest and I could see the worry in his eyes as he stared down at me, as he also stood taller than me.

My eyes widen at the question as I replay it over and over in my head.

Am I acting _weird_?

What does he mean by that?

I blinked as the realization hit me. A scowl made its way onto my face as my free hand curls into a fist while the other hand grips the book.

I look up at Remus, which made his _'worried_ ' and _'confused_ ' eyes met my narrowed eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that you _preferred_ it when I was angry? Cause let me tell you-"

"Hey, hey, hey, that's not it at all Daisy. It's just really strange to see you incredibly angry one day and really calm and happy the next day." Remus tells me as he cuts me off.

I scoff as I place my hands on my hips. "It's been a week since I yelled at James," I tell him.

"That's still too quick of a change in my opinion," Remus tells me as he crossed his arms. "Through, I'm not complaining. I'll take the nice version of you anyway then the angry one." Remus then gives me a small smile.

I was silent then as I was trying to figure out how to take in his words and how to reply to them.

 _What caused the change?_

 _You shouldn't have changed. People are going to take advantage of you now._

Ever since the day me and girls playing baseball. It felt as if something had clicked.

 _"Carpe diem!"_

My eyes widen at the voice that rings out through my head.

 _"What does that mean, William?" I asked the boy, who sat next to me in the grass_ _. Only just a pair of ten-year-old twins._

 _The boy smiles brightly at me. "It means to seize the day in Latin Daisy. It's important to make the most out of every day so than that we live with no regrets."_

 _"But why?" I asked, not completely understanding the point._

 _"I was born with a weak heart Daisy and the healers can't find a better heart for me. Which means that the heart I have, can go out at any time. So I want to live life to the fullest before I have to go." William tells me with a sad smile on his face._

 _I felt tears begin to well up in the corner of my eyes as I throw myself onto him which causes him to fall back onto the ground. "But I don't want you to go! You're my brother! You're my twin brother! I need you by my side! Twins aren't ever meant to be a part!"_

 _I hear laughter ring out into the air which caused me to lift my head up. Only to find a smile on Williams' face as his eyes sparkle brightly. "Don't you worry Daisy, I don't plan on leaving you any time soon."_

 _A smile made its way onto my face as I wipe away the tears. "Good," I tell him as I sat up in the grass again. "Or I would have to go and find your ghost form and smack you across the face," I tell him, which causes him to burst out laughing and me to follow in on it._

"Daisy, Daisy? Are you still there?"

My eyes blink a few times before looking up at Remus as he stood in front of me with worry shining brightly on his face.

"Y-Yea-Yea, I'm still here," I tell him as frown hung loosely on my face before I looked down at my feet.

 _I zoned out again._

 _I need to stop doing that._

"I know how you feel."

My eyes widen at the words before I looked up at him. "W-what?" I asked.

Remus held a small smile on his face as one of his hand begin to rub the back of his neck. "W-Well, what I mean by that, is that, I understand what it's like when your mind gets clouded up with your doubts and how sometimes it feels like your arguing with yourself and it's hard to lean on those around you because you don't want to be a bother. But it helps a lot though when you find people to tell your problems to. It's like your problems become easier to manage." Remus tells me as his eyes shift to his feet and he started playing with his hands. "Of course, I don't know what you're going through or anything, I just honestly believe that whenever you have people you can talk to about any of your problems, then life itself becomes better. Of course, you don't have to listen to what I have to say, I just-"

For some unknown reason, I snorted again as I place a hand over my mouth, to hide the ever growing smile.

"Thank you, Remus, I'll take your advice into consideration."


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - Roommates**

After leaving the library, my thoughts were quiet as I walk through the crowd of kids that filled the hallways. At least, they were at first but thag of course didn't last long.

 _I should talk to Marlene and Lily._ _No! you shouldn't!_ _Yes, I should!_ _No, you shouldn't!_

You know what, I need to stop arguing with myself! That's is what I need to do!

I let out a soft sigh as I begin to climb the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.

I give the Fat Lady a smile which causes her to raise an eyebrow. "Hello, how are you today?" I asked as I run my hands over jean shorts.

"I'm good, how about you Daisy?" The Fat Lady asked.

"I-I'm okay, just feeling a little nervous right now," I answer her as my fingers begin pulling at the edge of my shirt.

"Well then, good luck with whatever you're nervous with." The Fat Lady tells me.

"Thank you," I say softly. "Blastberry," I mutter the password softly which causes the picture to swing open.

I walk into the common room. My footsteps making little to nonexistent noises as I walk inside while looking around.

I froze when I made eye contact with gray eyes. Not knowing what to make of the look on his face, I swallow back my nerves, forcing my eyes to tear away from his eyes and onto my feet as I quickly march myself up the stairs, making a beeline as I head straight to Marlene's and Lily's dorm.

I open there door to find them in the place I left them in, which was them being on their separate beds.

Lily looks up at the sound of the door opening. A smile appears on her face at the sight of me while kept her attention on something else, which wasn't in my view as her back was turned to me.

I wave to them as I close the door behind me. "Um...hi...are you busy?" I asked as I begin tangling my fingers together. My question brought Marlene to look up and over at me with a look of surprise.

I watched as the two girls exchanged a look with each other which causes me to raise an eyebrow as I was stuck, not being able to read that expression they had on their face when they looked at each other. They looked back at me after a few seconds both with smiles on there faces. "Nope, if you have something important to say, then you can tell us it whenever you're ready," Lily tells me which causes me to nod silently as I took a step towards her bed before stopping and taking a step back.

"Wait...I need to go grab something from my trunk. I'll be right back." I tell them before running out of the room and to my dorm.

I open the door slightly and peeked around it, hoping, praying, that my roommates weren't in there.

I slowly open the door before I begin walking into the room slowly with my eyes darting all over the place.

I made a beeline for my trunk as I threw the top of it up before pushing my clothes and books to the side as I begin my hunt for a certain object.

I stopped when I felt something wooden between my fingers, wrapping my fingers around it as I begin pulling it out from underneath a pile of clothes.

My fingers run over the side of the frame as I stare at the picture.

The picture of two innocent seven-year-olds. The girl that had brown hair that went down to her shoulders, had her arms wrapped around the boy that was beside her, who also had brown hair but it was kept short compared to the girl beside him. The biggest difference in their appearance is their eyes. Seeing the girl had dark blue eyes while the boy had light gray eyes.

Tears begin to well up in the corner of my eyes which causes me to shake my head with my eyes shut.

 _Don't cry, crying is for the weak. You can't have your roommates walking in on you crying._

I let out a soft sigh as I open my eyes while turning the frame over. Only to find a blue ribbon tied to the back of the frame's stand.

I begin toying with ribbon as a soft smile made its way to my face as I begin wrapping the ribbon around my finger.

 _"Hey Daisy," I look up when I heard my name being called. To find that my brother was laying on his back with eyes locked on to the white St. Mango ceiling._ _"Yes, William?" I asked him as I pause in the middle of the book I was reading._ _"Do you remember this?" I watched as he held up a blue ribbon in his hand into the air._ _I smile at the sight of the ribbon that was always tied to my brother's wrist. "Of course, I see it tied to your wrist every day. You never did tell me why it was your lucky charm or where you even got it." I tell him as he turns his head to face me._ _"That's because it's a secret," William tells me as he puts a finger to his lips. "But yes, it is my lucky charm and I want you to have it."_ _I raised an eyebrow as I lost my smile in the confusion. "Me?" I asked._ _"Yes. I want you to have it. It would be more useful to someone that isn't stuck in a hospital." He tells me._ _"I'm sure you won't be stuck in this hospital for long William. It's already been three almost four years since you've been here. I'm sure you'll get out of here soon." I tell him._ _He flashes me a smile. "Yes of course, but in the meantime, I want you to hold on to this for me," William tells me as he stuck out the hand that held the ribbon._ _I smile at him as I carefully wrap my fingers around the ribbon. "Alright, I promise I'll take good care of it until you ask for it," I tell him._ _Not knowing that, in one week, he would be dead._

In the mist of the memory, I ended up untying the ribbon from the frame and wrap it around my left wrist while the picture frame sat in my lap.

I froze when the sound of giggling and the door opening reached my ears.

Crap! I thought I had more time!

I immediately stood up and rushed towards the door as it was pushed open, coming face to face with Rose Nelson.

A smirk hung loosely on her face as we made eye contact. Glancing over her shoulder, I could see three girls standing behind her.

"Well, look who it is. It's Daisy Snow." The girl says as she grins at me.

I roll my eyes. "Yes it is me and it shouldn't be no surprise that I'm here as I am one of your roommates," I tell the girl without much thought.

My eyes widen as the words flew past my lips without me realizing it until it was too late as I watch Rose's eyes narrow.

"You know, it amazes me that you were able to make friends with Sirius Black, one of the infamous pranksters. But of course, I had a feeling that wasn't going to last long." Rose tells me.

"What are you talking?" I asked, curious as to what she had to say.

"Everyone's heard about how cold and quiet Daisy was able to make friends with Sirius Black. But we've also heard about how your not friends anymore. Something about how you two got into some sort of argument. I'm not surprised to hear that. It was a given that sooner or later that you'll just be friendless again and that you will always be no one special." Rose tells me as she steps closer.

I narrow my eyes onto her. "But I'm not friendless. Sirius wasn't the only friend I had." I tell her.

"That's right, your friends with the infamous know-it-all mudblood girl and her weird blood-traitor friend. I find it hilarious that you actually think-"

I duck under the tall girl's arm and ran out of the room while dodging some of her friends as I made my way down the hall. Not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say.

"You're going to regret running out while I talking to you Snow!"

"Think of it as me saving your reputation since talking to me could potentially ruin it!"


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 - Trust**

The sound of the door opening and me stumbling into Lily and Marlene's room while panting heavily, immediately caught the girls attention.

"Are you alright Daisy? You like you just ran a marathon." Marlene tells me with her usual grin while Lily had a raised eyebrow and a frown on her face.

"Yea, I'm fine, I was just having problems with my roommates, again and running isn't my strong suit as I tire out easily," I tell them as I walk over to Lily's bed and sit down beside her.

Lily turns to watch me as I sat down. "Is that a picture frame in your hands? Is that what you needed to get?" Lily asked as she pointed at the frame that was in my lap while Marlene came to join us on the bed.

"Hmm," I hum as I nodded while passing the picture frame to Lily, to give her a closer. "Yes, and if you break it, or ruin it, your dead," I tell her which caused her to grimace as she took the picture frame carefully into her hands while Marlene let out a giggle.

I roll my eyes at Marlene before looking down at my empty hands. Clutching and unclutching them as part of me wanted to snatch that picture frame out of her hands.

"That is a picture of me and my twin brother, William Snow." I started off softly. "He passed away this year on September 1 at nine in the morning," I tell them before going silent. Trying to figure out what to say next. "It hit me really hard, his death. He was the only friend I ever had while growing up. The first person I would always go to when I needed something.

But, when we were eleven years old. A few days after we got our letters. He got sick. Really sick. It was so sudden. At least at the time it seemed really sudden to me. A part of me wanted to believe that it happened suddenly. I don't want to believe William got sick and passed way because he was born with a weak heart. There were signs that point to William heart becoming even weaker before we got our letters but I didn't think much of the signs I did see and William never brought them up because he didn't want to worry us. At least, that was what he said, but a part me thinks it's because he just wasn't ready to face the fact that his heart was becoming weaker."

It was silent as I talked about my brother. Part of me was glad that no one was interrupting me when it came to unloading the emotions that I held in for far too long. But talking about this out loud though, made me feel like I was pathetic, as there were people out there that had gone through far worse things than I have and they've done more with their lives then I have. There was also the part of me, that feared that their silence was their way of telling me that they thought I was pathetic.

 _You are pathetic._ _I don't want to be pathetic._

"Daisy? Are you still there?" I blinked as look up, realizing that I had, once again, zone out into my thoughts again.

When I looked up, I saw that Marlene had a small smile on her face instead of her usual grin while Lily's eyes seemed to sparkle with worry.

"Yes, sorry, I got distracted by my thoughts," I tell them.

"Well, that explains why you were so cold this year. But why didn't you tried to make friends during your first year or the years before this year." Lily asked.

"That's because, before and during Hogwarts. I got bullied a lot, it was to the point where I thought William and my family were the only people I would ever need." I tell them.

"Why haven't you tried talking to your family about how you felt?" Marlene asked me.

"Mum and grandmother were sad. I didn't want to burden them. Father...he changed. He shut himself out the second he found out that William had passed away. Even back when we found out that he was sick, to the point where he had to be hospitalized. Father started changing then too." I tell them as I narrow my eyes onto my hands, that had turned into tight fists.

"He's not the man he uses to be. Mum doesn't know it, at least, not to my knowledge, she doesn't. But he calls her the forbidden M-word behind her back when she's not around. He's been doing it, ever since William got stuck in the hospital. Father has also looked at me differently since then too. Since then, I have done whatever I could to make him happy, but the smallest mistake made all the progress I made just disappear and _you know what_." I tell them as my lips curl into a scowl as my fists tighten. "I am tiredof it. If he wants to be a terrible father, then that is his choice," I tell them.

"That's probably the best thing you can do." I hear Lily's voice, which causes me to look up at her in surprise as all the anger I felt vanished, as I wasn't excepting a response, much less, an encouraging one. "Since it can end up leading in an unhealthy relationship, so the best thing you can do is to start avoiding him," Lily tells me.

I was silent as I stared at the two girls that sat around me before looking down at my hands.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting for a sign.

A sign that can tell me.

That I made the biggest mistake.

In telling them about my problems.

But as I look back up at them. All I could see was kindness and sincerity on them, except with Marlene, who had a hint of mischief on her face, as usual.

Telling them this.

Didn't change anything.

Our friendship is still the same.

A smile made its way on to my face.

I guess _trusting_ them, wasn't the biggest mistake I ever made.


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 - O.W.L's**

 ** _KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_**

The sound of me knocking against the door that leads into Professor McGonagall's office reached my ears.

"Come in." I hear the familiar voice of my Transfiguration teacher call out.

I open the door slowly as I begin to walk into her office. Softly closing the door behind me, only to cringe at the sound of the soft click as any sound that was made when I was nervous, automatically sounded ten times louder.

The professor was seated in her seat while she seemed to be going through some paper. "Good evening, Professor McGonagall." I greet the Professor politely as I walk over to take my seat in front of her.

"Miss Snow, I assume you know why your here." The Professor tells me as she looks up at me.

I cringe at her choice of words. "Professor, you make it sound as if I'm in trouble. But I know I am here because you want to go over what I have planned for my career." I tell her.

"I apologize for that Miss Snow, but you are correct, we are here to talk about your career choices. Do you have any idea of what you want to do after Hogwarts?" The woman asked me.

I was rendered silent at that question, as I honestly didn't have the faintest clue as to what I wanted to do after Hogwarts.

"I'm not sure," I finally answered after a few seconds of silence. "I've been too busy thinking about...my family's problems to really give any thought about what I wanted to do after Hogwarts," I explain to her, softly.

"Well," McGonagall begins as she picked up a piece of paper. "From what I can see, Astronomy, Transfiguration, Charms, and Potions seem to be your best classes. You had quite the grade change in Potions through, didn't Slughorn point you a tutor earlier this year for the class when you were close to failing it?" Professor McGonagall asked me.

I nod. "Yes, he did actually. He pointed Lily Evans as my tutor." I tell her.

She nods to what I said as she stared down at the paper in her hand before looking up at me. "I've noticed quite the change in you Miss Snow, this year has been the year that I've ever seen you change so much, at the beginning of the year, you avoided social interaction way more than you usually do but then the next thing I see is that your hanging out with Miss Evans and Miss McKinnon, you even be hanging out Mr. Black, though, I hadn't seen that for the past few weeks," McGonagall tells me.

"I don't understand why talking about my social life is of any importance to my career choice, Professor," I spoke, not really wanting to talk about my social problems.

I still need to figure out what I need to do about Sirius. About whether or not if we can go back to being friends. If only he wasn't so damn stubborn. We could have already fixed our problem.

"That's because you have to be social in most careers, while in some careers, you don't have to worry about it as much. But careers such as teaching, it's very important." Professor McGonagall tells me as I look down at my hands, trying to figure out a response for her.

I was silent as she wasn't wrong. I did need decent social skills when it comes to living in the real world.

But the thing is, I didn't think I would have to survive the real world without William by my side and he had awesome social skills. He knew quite well how to get people to listen to him and was always the leader. When we were really young, I always thought of it as him being bossy. But now I can see how important those social skills were. It's a shame that I didn't listen to him when he tried to tell me. I had assumed that whatever I ended up doing, I would still be by his side. I shouldn't have depended on him as much as I had.

But that just brings me back to square one.

 _What do I want to do after I leave Hogwarts?_

 _You really are useless if you can't figure out such a simple thing._

My frown deepens at the negative thought as I look up at Professor McGonagall to see she still had her usual stoic look on her face. Despite, feeling intimated by her, I force myself to look her in the eye.

I want to do something that can help others. I wasn't able to help William but maybe I can other people and just because he's not here anymore. Doesn't mean it can't have anything to do with him.

"I-I want to be a healer for 's. "I spoke softly. I watched as she raises an eyebrow at me. "Is that possible?" I asked as I shifted my eyes back down at my hands, which were tightly holding on to my skirt due to my own nerves.

"Yes, it is, if you keep up with your transfiguration, charms, and potions class. You should be able to do it, I was just surprised as it going to require you to work on your social skills and then there's...also your brother too." Professor McGonagall tells me, causing me to look back up at her.

"He's part of the reason why I picked it. He's not the full reason but he is part of why I want to be a healer. That's my final decision Professor, I _want_ to be a healer." I tell her as I stare at her in the eye once more while my hands tighten there hold on my skirt.

I watch as a small smile slowly appears on her face. "If that's what you truly want, then I'll do what I can to help you achieve that career." The Professor tells me which causes a smile to appear on my face.

"Thank you, Professor."

 **.o0o.**

A soft sigh left my lips before my face planted into the softness of the Gryffindor couch as I let out a groan that was muffled by the pillow my face was buried into as I listen to the sound of my friend shuffling around me before it became quiet.

I turn my head onto the side of my face when I didn't hear there shuffling anymore, only to find Lily was slouching in the chair she sitting, looking as if she was ready to crash while Marlene sat in front of the fireplace with a look of pure amusement plaster on to her face.

"I'm starting to think that O.W.L's were made to make us suffer," I tell them which makes Marlene grin grow even wider while Lily nods in agreement.

"Definitely, I'm starting to think that I'm losing my sanity over the bloody tests," Lily tells me as she closes her eyes while a thoughtful expression shows up on Marlene's face.

My eyes widen when I see a thoughtful look on her face. Lily opens her eyes after a few seconds. Only to immediately sit up straight when she saw Marlene's thoughtful expression.

"I think my sanity is already dead. Merlin knows where it is. I think it's under the couch." Says Marlene with a straight face.

It was then silent as me and Marlene stared at each other while Lily looked back and force between us.

The silence was broken after a few seconds as I let out a snort before ending up into a fit of laughter along with Marlene while Lily just shook her head at us while giggling softly to herself.

 _I understand now, why William kept pushing me to make friends for all those years. It really is something special to find people that understand you despite not being related by blood._


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26** \- **Dear Mum**

The sound of pages being moved filled as I flipped the next page of my book as I was sucked into the world the book had to offer. A smile made it's way onto my face as I get to learn about the characters in the story.

Learning about there goals.

The things they hate.

The things they cherish.

What makes them tick.

Only to break out of it when I heard the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.

My eyes snap upwards as I lose my smile. Only to see Remus Lupin taking a seat at the same table as me. I raise an eyebrow at him as I looked around the library, only to find there a lot of vacant spots he could have taken other the one in front of me as there wasn't a whole of students in the library today.

My eyes come to settle back on to Remus, who offered me a small smile which only caused my eyes to narrow slightly as I kept an eyebrow raised. "May I help you, Remus?" I asked as I raise my head up and straighten out my back.

"Yes, you can actually, you can start off by making Sirius stop sulking as its starting to get on my last nerve," Remus tells me, the bluntness causing me to blink a few times as I haven't taken him to be one to be blunt especially after how nerves he appeared to be when I last saw him.

I clear out my throat before opening it to speak. "And...why are you asking me to stop him from sulking?" I asked him.

"Because you're the reason why, though, I don't blame you for avoiding him and not wanting to talk to any of us for that matter as we did hurt your friend. Doesn't matter if it was on purpose or by accident, we were still in control of our actions." Remus tells me, his face losing the smile as he appeared to be completely serious.

I blinked a few times in surprise. "Okay, and why doesn't he does this himself?" I asked before realizing something that caused me to slam my hands onto the table as I shot up onto my feet. "And how do I know you're not trying to trick me?" I asked before flinching when I heard the librarian shush at me and saw the few students that were in the library to turn and look over at me with confused and annoyed expressions.

My face begin to burn slightly at the embarrassment of being called out, even though, I couldn't see any other students besides me and Remus.

Remus, on the other hand, held a look of amusement, completely opposite to the look he had previously.

"Well, one, this is Sirius we're talking about. James and Sirius are both too prideful to admit when they're wrong and two, that's for you to decide." Remus tells me.

A scowl made its way onto my face as my hands grip the edge of the table while bringing my chin close to touching the surface of the table. "I don't like you," I tell him a low voice which caused him to raise an eyebrow. "Last time we spoke, you acted nervous, now your acting to calm for my liking."

Remus' eyes widen in surprise. "Ah, I see how that may seem suspicious. Well, last time, I was nervous because I was afraid that you would bite my head off like you did with James and Sirius because I was trying to give you advice when I know absolutely nothing about your situation. But you don't seem cold anymore and you don't look like that you're about to blow up at people in anger either, so I feel as if I don't have a reason to be nervous around you. At least, not like James does at least." Remus tells me before he let out a snort. "I've never been given that as a reason for why someone doesn't like me."

A grin slowly begins to break out onto my face. "Seriously?" I asked. "Cause I have, back when I was still going to a muggle school. I got told by this one girl that she didn't like me because of how happy I always was. Said that it was annoying." I tell him.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Really? You always seem sad or angry, to me."

I shrug as I look back down at my book. "I know and I'm still working on it," I tell him as I absentmindedly begin to mess with the edge of the page.

"Anyways, do you mind speaking with Sirius at some point so then he would stop sulking? He's no fun when gets like that." Remus asked me.

"I don't mind speaking to him, but he has to come to me through. He's the one in the wrong and so he has to come to me. I don't see why he would or why he would be sulking in the first place though, we just started hanging out like friends would when he decided to go and act like an idiot." I tell him.

Remus lets out a soft sigh. "True, but that's something you two can talk about when I can get him to talk to you," Remus tells me before looking down at the book that was in front of me. "What are you reading?"

A grin made its way on to my face as I rest my head into the palm of my hand. "A book," I answered.

Remus rolled his eyes before a cracking a smile onto his face. "Yes, but what is it called?"

"A book," I answered as my grin widens.

He raised an eyebrow as he stared at me for a few seconds before opening his mouth again. "May I take a look at, said book?" He asked.

I nod as I pass the book over to him. "You may," I tell him.

I watch as he picks the book up and turns it over to look at the title before eyes seem to brighten up. He looks up at me with a grin. "I've read this book before! You've got good taste Daisy."

I let out a small chuckle. "Yes, yes I do," I tell him.

 **.o0o.**

 _Dear Mum,_

 _It's been a while since we've last talked. First things first, I'm not mad at you. I know you blame yourself for William's death because dad says it's your fault._

 _But the truth is that it isn't your fault. Nor is it mine fault as dad blamed me to which I doubt you knew._

 _I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing alright. I'm sure you're worried as I haven't been sending you any letters this year which is unusual for me._

 _I just needed some time to spend by myself and think. In some cases, that may have been the best thing to do, but in other cases, it wasn't._

 _I think you'll be proud to hear that I actually made friends with these two girls, named Lily and Marlene. I was friends with this boy named Sirius but he wants to act like an idiot right now so I'm not hanging out with him for the time being._

 _But Sirius has this friend named Remus who I have been hanging out every now and then in the library. He's really nice, very polite and quiet for a boy. But he can send a witty mark when needed. Not sure if I want to consider him as a friend though since he friends appear to be idiots._

 _Remus told me that I apparently scared his friend, James, pretty badly to the point where he peed himself._

 _Oops, in my defense though, he deserved it as he wanted to act like a jerk. Let's just say he said something that made my anger tip over the edge, a bit. Maybe more than a bit but he still deserved it. I'll explain it in more details when I see you._

 _But Lily and Marlene are both really nice and understanding. I honestly really enjoy the time I spend with them. I told them about William and they have both been really encouraging about moving on but not forgetting him._

 _I'm honestly really happy right now and I hope you and Grandma are happy to._

 _I need to get going but I'll be seeing you soon as the O.W.L's have already begun._

 _Best of wishes,_  
 _From your only, but_  
 _your favorite daughter,_  
 _Daisy Snow._


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 - Letter**

A soft smile fell onto my face as I place the feather to the side. I stretch out my back before reaching over to grab hold of an unused envelope. I was about to grab a letter, only for a hand to show up out of nowhere and snatch the paper right in front of my face.

I shot up onto my feet causing to the chair to tilt back before my arm shot as I grab hold of my chair as I spun around on the heels of my feet. Immediately sending a glare as I made eye contact with Rose while her friends stood behind ready for whenever she needed them.

 _"Dear Mummy, it's been a while since I last sent you a letter-"_ Rose mocks me as she begins to read my letter out loud. Hot boiling anger shot through me as I stepped around the chair before my arm shot out as I leap forward to grab hold of my letter. ONly for the taller girl to jump back and hold her arm over her head as she keeps it out of my reach.

The giggling that filled the caused blood to rush towards my face as I kept trying to reach the letter. "Poor Daisy doesn't get along with her daddy." My roommate keeps on mocking me as kept on mocking me causing me to stop to curl my hands into fists as I stopped jumping forward as I was now panting.

 ** _STOMP!_**

The sound of my foot hitting the wooden floor caused all the girls to become silent as I let out a low growl causing looks of surprise to show up on Rose's lackey's faces while Rose herself, looked unimpressed with pressed with my attempts of being intimidating before a smirk made its way onto her face.

"Did you really think that is going to get your letter back? Pathetic, you and I both know that you can _never_ come across as _intimidating._ If anything, just come across as an angry kitten. An ugly sad cat." Rose tells me as she waves my letter in front of my face, shooting her arm back whenever I tried to grab hold of it.

"Rose, just give back the damn letter so then we go back to ignoring each other like we usually do," I tell the girl sternly as my curled hands begin to shake.

The smirk falls from her face as she narrows her eyes onto me. "I'm afraid I can't do that. Not until you know your place since you seemed to have forgotten that you have no right to speak to me as your equal, _half-blood_." She spoke as she looked at the three girls, that she called her friends. When they were nothing but a bunch of fakers. "Lindsey, what do you think we should do with this letter?"

Her friend, Lindsey grins as I watch her eyes sparkle. "I say we rip it, there's not much else we can do with the paper." My eyes widen in fear as I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

 ** _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIIIIP!_**

The sound of paper ripping filled my ears as I watch the pieces of paper flutter down to the ground, feeling tears slide down my cheeks as every piece of paper hit the ground.

 ** _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIIIIP!_ **

I clap my hands over my ears as I shut my eyes closed as the tears kept coming. Cause at that moment, she wasn't ripping up paper. She was ripping up my _heart_.

 ** _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIP!_ _RIIIIIIIIP!_**

 ** _"STOP IT!"_**

 _I couldn't...I couldn't stand the sound of them ripping it up._

There was this eerie silence that settled into the room as all the girls stared at me in surprise, even Rose had a slight look of surprise, even if it only lasted for a second.

 _ **"STOP IT! I HATE YOU ALL! YOU ALL SHOULD GO DIE IN HELL!"** _I bellowed out at the top of my lungs as I pulled at my hair, shooting them all death glares as my anger seemed to be hitting near its breaking point once more.

Only for a cruel smile to make its way onto Rose's face as she narrowed eyes which were filled with amusement as they met my blue eyes which were filled with nothing but anger.

 _Hot flesh anger._

At this point, my mind has completely blocked out the presence of Rose's _fake_ friends as Rose become my main focus.

 _"How pathetic,"_ Rose tells me causing my eyes to widen in pain, as her words suddenly became as sharp as a knife.

Stabbing me in the heart as soon as they flew past her lips.

 _What happened to your anger Daisy?_

 _Why don't you put them in there place?_

"There's honestly no reason to spill tears over pieces of paper, Not when you can fix it with just a wave of your wand. Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk." What a baby, isn't that right girls?" Rose asked causing a wave of snickering to reach my ears as I also heard sounds of agreements.

 _Your nothing but a coward Daisy!_

 _Coward._

 _Coward._

 _You can't even speak up for yourself._

 _Stab, stab, stab, stab-_

 _What a pathetic Gryffindor._

With every word that flew past there lips. With every negative word that rung in my head. It pierced straight into my heart without a second thought. Tearing up the scars that were still healing. Reopening wounds I thought that I could finally look past.

I felt my knees give out from my beneath me as they hit the wooden floor. My eyesight begin to become blurry once more as I watched Lindsey lend to her left while she crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, you need to learn how to take a joke Daisy. You need to stop overreacting so much."

And with that, they all left.

Leaving me with my own thoughts.

Leaving me with my heart shattered on the ground.

And just as things were starting piece it's self together.

Now I to start from scratch, once more.

But they were right,

I'm being dramatic.

I shouldn't be crying.

I knew better to get angry at Rose.

It's better to become emotionles-

 _"If you ever start to feel sad. Just come to hang out with us."_ Lily's voice rings out, loud and clear throughout my head.

My eyes widen as any depressing thought I had seemed to become nonexistent in the wake of Lily's voice ringing out through my head. causing my eyes to blink several times in surprise as my eyesight begins to clear up while also clearing up my fogged up mind which causes me to realize the road my mind was starting to go down once.

A loud sniff could be heard as I used my sleeves to wipe at my tear-stained cheeks and watery eyes as I felt a sense of determination shot through my veins. While swallowing back a lump in my throat as I pick myself off the ground as I got to collect my wand off my desk.

But as my fingers wrap themselves around my wand, was when I realized that I could have just used my wand as a way to take back my letter before Rose could have ripped it up.

 _You really are a fool Daisy._

I quickly shook my head at the negative thoughts, shooing them away as I begin to wave my wand in the air while muttering a spell under my breath. Watching as the pieces of paper fly into the air as they begin to piece themselves back together before flying into my free hand as I begin to look it over. Only to see that it appeared as if it was as good as new. There was no evidence of it ever being ripped. Not one scratch.

 _Too bad I couldn't do the same for my heart._

I swallow back a lump that was forming in my throat once again as I grab hold of the envelope I had dropped onto my desk before stuffing the letter into the envelope.

 _I guess it wouldn't hurt to stop by Marlene's and Lily's dorm before sending this letter off to mum._

 **Author Note -**

Sorry for the update being late, I started the first day of my Sophomore year in high school today and the editing took longer then I thought it would. Like seriously, this chapter was around 800 words before I started editing it and it's already gone past 1300 words when finished editing it.

So ya...hope you enjoy the chapter!


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